You and Me

You=lovely
You=perfect
You=beautiful
You=amazing
You=sweet
You=cute
You=genius
You=fantastic
You=fabulous


Me=liar

Petrol Pump

A sardar opened a petrol pump,
but not even one customer went there.

You know why?


Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

I have lost key

Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?

Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

Male and Female

Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.

Wife: Kitni mari?
Man: 3 male aur 2 female.

Wife: Kaise malum?

Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...

Cartoonist

If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!

If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!

If I was an author,
you would be my story!


But I'm only a cartoonist

Teri Yaad

Dil vich teri yaad sajjna,
Akhhan vish tera khwab sajjna,

Tenu yaad kare bina neend vi nahi aandi,
Saadi akkh tere khwab di mohtaj sajjna.

Exams

Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c

Oh mneu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Na paper mainu aanda c, na paper ohnu aanda c.

Confused

Dil 20 13, 80 20 tere..

Confused???

Read the above numbers in punjabi.

Hadsa (Accident)

Mulazim: Sir meri salary increase kar day. Meri shadi ho gayee hay

Maalik: Factory say bahi honay wali hadsay kay hum responsible nahin.

Sohni Lagdi

Sardar: Wah gee, suit bada sohna paya hai.
Bivi: Thank u G
Sardar: Lipstick badi sohni laayi aa.
Bivi: Thank u G.
Sardar: Shingaar v sohna kitaa aa.
Bivi: Thank u G thank u
Sardar: Par sohni pher v nahi lagdi...

Dr. Chopra

Dr. Chopra, a psychotherapist, hired a sardar to paint his sign board for his clinic"

Sardar came a wrote:

Dr. Chapra
Psycho The Rapist

RACE

Aik jahaz ka engine kharab ho gaya sub nay parashute le kar jump laga dia. Akhir main 1 admi reh gia us ka liye parashute na bacha. Us nay majboran waisay he jump laga dia. Parashut na honey ki waja se woh tezi sey nicha aaya.

Aik sardar nay usay teezi se jatay hoye dekha to apan parashot choor dia aur bola
"Saday naal raisaan"

Dua for Biryani

Biryani khanay ki dua:

Niyat karat hoon mian 4 plate biyani ki vasty 12 boti kay, bama pepsi, raita aur salad, Muon mera daig ki taraf. Bismillah

Peer Bhai

Police nay 2 admi pakray..

Inspector 1st admi say: Tum kis kay mureed ho.
1st admi nay kisi peer sahib ka naam liya, inpector nay kaha is ko band kar do

Inspector 2nd admi say: Tum kis kay mureed ho.
2nd admi: Main apni bivi ka mureed hun.

Inspector: Oye is ka liy pepsi lao ye to apna Peer bhai nikla

BMW

Sardar: Putar jee, tumain Dehli janey main to 4 hour lagay magar wapis 3 din main aya ho woh be BMW main. Akhir kia wajah hay.

Putar: Bapoo, BMW walay pagal hain. Janay ka 5 gear hain aur wapasi ka sirf 1 gear.

Mujhey Yaad Na Karay

"Wo shakas taba-o-barbad ho jaye jo khuttay ko dekhay or muje yaad na karay"
Peer Asif Zardari

Ding Dong Remix

Ek zardari mota taza tha
Jo mazay se mulk ko khata tha
Ding dong ding dong

Zardari nay beth ke soch ye
Bibi ko dengay dhoka ye
Bibi ko marengay goli aur
Khaengay mulk ko
Ding Dong Ding Dong

Keyboard ki ABC

Sardar gee got new job. Very first day he spent 11 hours on computer.

Boss was happy and asked what he did?

Sardar:
"Keyboard per ABC agay peechay thi, woh seedhi ki hay"