Billo Rani

Aik chooha sharaab kay drum main gira aur must ho ka nikla.

Soti Billi k mun pe dum maar ka bola:

"Billo rani kaho to abi jaan de doon"

Sabzi Mandi

In 2015

Main with his boy at main gate of Gaddafi Stadium:

"Beta yhan kabi cricket match howa karte thay"

Beta "Papa us waqt sabzi mandi kahan hoti thi"

Baywafai

Justice ko bhal karne ka Irada to nahi tha Fraz

Sheri Rehman ki baywafai nay kamzor kar dia
(Zardari)

Vibration

1 Sardar Mleriya Sy Kamp Rha Tha.

Doctor Aya Aur Pocha: Kia Howa Hai?

Sardar K Bete Ny Jawab Diya:

Bamarii ka tu pata nahi per abba subha say "VIBRATION" per laga howa hay

Bijli

Mother 2 Docotr On Phone:

Mari Beti Ko Current Laga Hai Me Kia Karon??

Doctor: Pehle Ap 2 NAFAL Shukranay Ke Ada Karein

Ke Apki Tarf Bajli Aarahi Hai..

Anokha Kaam

Ustad (Shagird se) :
"kya tm aisa kaam kr saktay ho, jo doosra nhi krsakta?"

Shagird:

" ji haan Sir, main apna likha perh sakta hu "

Why are you Late

Teacher: Tum Late Q Aaye..?

Student: Ammi Abbu Lar Rahe Thay..

Teacher: Wo Lar Rahe Thay To Tum Late Q Aaye..?

Student: Kya Karta Mera 1 Joota Ammi K Pas Tha Or 1 Abbu K Pas Thaa ...

Ittefaq

آُستاد ؛ اِتفاق کو جُملے میں استعمال کرو

۔شاگرد ؛ جِس دِن میرے باپ کی شادی تھی اِتفاق سے اُسی دِن میری ماں کی بھی شادی تھی

Student Life

Funny English Translation

1۔ میں عام آدمی نہیں ہوں۔
I am not a mango man.

2۔ سردا اور گرما فروٹ ہیں۔
Colda and hota is fruit.

3۔ مجھے بھی انگلش آتی ہے۔
English comes to me also.

4۔ دو اور دو برابر چار۔
Give and give equal to four.

5۔ میرا تعلق ہری پور ہزارہ سے ہے۔
I am belong to green pur thousanda.

6۔ سڑک پہ گولیاں چل رہی ہیں۔
tablets are walking on the road.

Ton Ton Ton

Math’s teacher was teaching Mathematical Conversions.

Teacher-If, 1000 Kgs= Ton. Then For 3000 Kgs = How Much?

Sardar Reply- Ton! Ton! Ton!

Daar lag raha hay

ایک سردار جی اپنی پتنی کو موٹر سائیکل پر شاپنگ پر لے جا رہے تھے. سردار جی انتہائی تیز رفتاری سے موٹر سائیکل چلا رہے تھے.

سردارنی نے کہا کہ سردار جی موٹر سائیکل آہستہ چلائیں مجھے ڈر لگ رہا ہے

.تو سردار جی کہنے لگنے کہ اگر تجھے ڈر لگ رہا ہے تو تو بھی میری طرح آنکھیں بند کر لے

Gulabo and Sardar

Sardar goes to Gulabo's home & knocks da door ...

Gulabo: Kon ...???
Sardar: maiN ...!!!!

Gulabo: maiN kon ...???

Sardar: " ley dass kamlii ... tu gulabo hor kon ...!!!! "

Khopari Istemal karo

Ek pathan ka ser phat gaya
pathan sey Dr. ne pocha:-khan sahab kya hua ??

Pathan:Hum pather sey keel thok raha thah,
hum ko ek admi bola khan

KHOPRI istemal karo

Anokha Khiyal

Wife : Tum Toh Chahte Ho K Main Mar Jaon
Aur Meri Tamam Cheezai'n Tumhari Ho Jaye'n.

Hasband : Lehhh, Eddddi Tu Benazer'

Little Thieve

A boy was caught stealing a watch, taken to a police station and put in a lock-up .

A criminal there showed some sympathy and said,

"You are wasting time on small items . Why don`t you rob a bank ?"

The boy replied, "By the time I leave school, all banks are closed"

Kitaab / Calendar

Wife: Main Tumhari Zindagi ki Kitaab hoon.
Husband: Yehi To Afsos Hai, Agar Calender hoti to har Sal Change tu ker leta

Over Time

Macher ne Ek admi ko din mein kata,
admi ne kaha:tum tou raat mein kattey hona??
Macher bola: ghar ke halat kharab hain over time kar raha hun....

Sharminda

ایک ماہر نفسیات لیکچر کے دوران اپنی خوبیاں بڑے زور سے بیان کررہا تھا۔ً میں کسی بھی شخص پر ایک نظر ڈال کر بتاسکتا ہوں کہ وہ میرے بارے میں کیا سوچ رہا ہے۔

ایک شخص نے ٹوکتے ہوئے کہا۔۔۔

۔"ً لیکن یہ جان لینے کے بعد تو آپ کو کافی شرمندگی محسوس ہوتی ہوگی۔۔۔۔۔۔"

Released Today

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. e finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought. "What's the matter, dear?, Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband said, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly.

"Yes I do" she replies.

The husband "Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"

"Yes, I remember" said the wife,

The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released today!"

Sadar Bana do

Wakeel : Jedge sahab

is mujrem ney apney saley ko mara,
Is ney apni biwi Ko mara,
is ney beshamar chorian ki,
is ney beshamar gareebo ka khun piya

Ab app hi bataein is ko kya saza di jaye?

Jadge : Isey Mulk ka Saddar bana do

Halaf-Nama

Zardari Ka Halaf-Nama
Farzana Raja Meri Jaan Hy
Ye Pakstan Ki Aan Hy
Me Apna Farz Nibhaonga
Mulk Ko Nuqsaan Pohnchaonga
Zardari mera Naam Hy
Gaddari Mera Kaam Hy ...

Zillat hi Zillat

Quaid-e-Azam was Quaid-e-Millat
Fatima Jinnah was Madar-e-Millat
Liaquat Ali Khan was Shaheed-e-Millat
Benazir Bhutto was Dukhtar-e-Millat
Yousuf Raza Gillani is aatay ki qillat
AurAsif Ali Zardari . . . . .Zillat hi Zillat

Bachnaaaaa

bachnaaaaa ay gharebo..... lo main aa gaya....

khoon ka payasa...amn ka dushman.....

apni ada hai bibi se juda!..hey ho!!!

Khabar Dar

Bay adab
Bay mulahiza, Hoshiar

Baighairat-e-Azam,
Badshah-e-Rishwat,
Zaleel-ul-Mulk,
Shehenshah-e-Jowa,
Sardar-e-Dakait
Asif Zardari aa rahe Hain!

Mother

M-O-T-H-E-R
“ M “ is for the million things she gave me
“ O “ means only that she’s growing old,
“ T “ is for the tears she shed to save me,
" H “ is for her heart of purest gold ;
“ E “ is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
“ R “ means right, and right she”ll always be,

Put them all together, they spell“ MOTHER “
A word that means the world to me.

Birthday Card

A sardar gee gifted a card
to his father on his Birthday and write:

Phul to Bahut he par Gulab Jesa Koi Nahi
Papa to Bahut hai Par Aap Jaisa Koi Nahi.

Bhai

Aankho mein "SHARAFAT"
chaal main"NAJAKAT"
dil me"SACHCHAI"
aur chehre me"SAFAI"
Phir kyon na bole har ladki apko "BHAI"

Funny Poetry

1 khwab ,1 pyar ,1 haqiqat ho tum .
Dosti me padnewali har zaroorat ho tum.
Jisko roj itne SMS karne pade, woh musibat ho tum.

Bhege jo SMS

Bhege jo SMS tuje Wo teri yaad me,
Sare ke sare wo abba ne pad liye,
Svera jab huaa to jute pad gye,
Wo fashion wale baal hwa me ud gye.