King of the States (Guess What??)

King of the States,
Beloved of my father
Strength 4 my mother's heart,
My brother climbed over the mare,

Samajh aai ? Nahi,
English samajhna her kisi k bus ki baat nahi,
punjabi version mulahiza farmaiye:

Desaan da Raja,
Mere Babul da piyara,
Ambri de dil da sahara,
Veer mera kohri charhya
:-)

Sabar Kamyabi Hai

"Aisa bohat Kam hota hai k JALDBAAZ Nuqsaan na Uthayay.
Or
Aisa ho hi nahin sakta k SABAR karnay wala NAAKAAM ho jaaye "

4 Batain

1 bazurg ne 50 saal books ka Mutaleya kia or un mai se sirf chaar Baaten apney liye muntakhib kin..

1- Allah k diye huve pe razi reh warna koi or maalik talash kr jo us se be ziyada de.

2- Jin baton sy Allah ne mana farmaya un se ruk ja warna Us k Kainat se bahir chala ja.

3- Agar gunah krna chahta hy to aisi jaga talaash kr jahan Allah na dekh sky warna mat kr.

4- Allah ki ibadat kr warna us ka diya huva rizq be mat kha

Please Think

"RAB"
Ki Muhbat

"GUNAH"Sy
Door Ly jati hay auR
"GUNAH"
Ki Muhbat

"RAB"Sy
Door Kr Deti Hy


Socheay
Hm kis sy Door Ho Rahy Hain?

My Feelings for YOU

When my arm

can't reach the persons close 2 my heart


I always hug them with my prayers


May Allah give u wat ur heart desires!

AmeEn!

Musibat Ki Buniyad

Musibt ki buniyad insan ki guftagu hai.,
________________________________________

Jis nasihat asr na kry wo ye jan lay k
us ka dil eman se khali hai...

Shine Like SUN

"If you want to Shine like sun,
first you will have
to Burn like it.

~~Hitler~~

Make OtherS HappY

Charlie Chaplin said,
"Life laughs at you when you are unhappy.
Life smiles at you when u r happy,
but Life salutes you when u make others happy

Hazar Jawab

Hsbnd bv se phone pr:
"Kya pkaya hai aj khanay mein?"
Biwi(gussay se):
"Zeher"
Hsbnd:kha kr so jana,mein dair se aaon ga,,!!!:-)

HIMMAT FAN

Garmi aur Load Sheding ka tor
"HIMMAT FAN" AAJ hi ghar laen aur garmi se nijat paen. Sasta mazbut aur paedar.

Asal, , ,



KHUJOOR k paton se tyar karda. ;-)

Made in China

Chinese Lady Pakistani Lady Se:

Mere Husband Ka Chalte Chalte Inteqaal ho gaya tha.!

Pakistani Lady:

Bas Behen, China Ki Cheezon Ka Yehi Masla Hai.

Definition of Female Nurse

"A beautiful dashing Girl wearing angel white coat,
holding ur hand lookng into ur eyes
& still wants ur pulse to be


NORMAL

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Najumi

Sardar Ki bethi:
abu kal nu apnay ghar vicho 1 banda ghat jana wa

aglay din wo larki bhag gai

sardar:
kam ta kuri ne changa nai kita par hy Najumi si..

Ignore Mat Karna

IGNORE mat KARNA YE 1 SACHA WAQIA HAI
RAWALPINDI K CENTRAL HOSPITAL MAIN
1 BACHA PEDA HOA HAI US NAY PAIDA HOTIEY





HI KAHA HAI









OWAAAAN OWAAAN OWAAAN
:p :D :) ;)

Cousin ki Shaadi

BOSS:pathan tmhe 15din ki chuti q chahiay
Pathan:cousin ki shadi he

boss:cousin ki shadi 15din chutti q?

pathan:cousin chahti he k mai uski shadi me
dulha ban k jaun

Dengi Virus

Boy:
Teri Judayi mein,
Nend urti hai,
Jan jati hai,
chain khota hai,
Dil rota hai...!

Girl:
Check krwa le Beta
dengi Virus main
aisa hi hota hai,

Difficult Question of the Year

Saal 2009 ka MUSHKIL SWAAL :

"PAKOREY" ko ENGLISH Mein Kia Kehte Hain?

JWAAB Zaroor Dain... . .. i m waiting

Changa Keeta

Jinny LAHORE ni vikhya o jamiya e ni

Jinny Karachi vikhya o maryea e ni

Jinny MuLTAN ni vikhya o sarya e nai

Jinny TENU nai

Vikhya


"Changa Kita"!

Counting

1+2+1+2+3+1+5+1+
2+5+1+2+1+1+5+1+
2+1+5+2+1+5+1+2+
1+5+1+2+1+5+1+2+
1+5+1+2+1+5+3
,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
wah ji wah

Jumeraat k paisey giney ja rhe hen..

Night SMS Service

SALAM,

Ye Humari Night
Sms Service Ha hum soay huway logon ko,
SmS kar k jagaatay hain,
Or un k Jaag Jane k baad,hum khud so jate hain,
*GOOD NIGHT*
Swt Dreams

Zong: Sub Keh Do.

1 bacha ZONG k Office ja kar larki ko I LOVE U kehta hai .

LARKI: Tumhari himat kesay hui ?

BACHA: Aap hi to kehty ho

Zong::: Sub Keh Do

Kis Ki Mannay

"Susti Hamari bari Dushman Hai"
(Allama Iqbal)


"Hamein apne Dushman se pyar krna chahiye"
(Quaid.e.Azam)


Dasso banda kaidi mannay?:-

Pakistani Shadi

Pakstani Shadi me khana khane k 2 asool:
RULE 1
Pehli bar is tarha khao k doosri bar milega nhi
RULE 2
Doosri bar is tarha khao(SMSCaster)r mila hi nahi tha...!

Tum Hee Sub Kuch Ho

1 admi shadi ke bad apni bv se bola:
Ajse tm hi meri zenat ho, tamna ho, Izzat ho.

Bv:mare lya b aj se ap hi mare
Naveed ho,
Irfan ho,
Zubair ho,
Imran ho.

Extra Sheet Please

QAYAMAT k din farishton ne kaha sab apne apne GUNNAH likho ,
Sab likh rahay thay

achanak


'ZARDARI'

na pichy se AAwaaz di,

"Extra Sheet Please"

Yeh Kamra Nahi

Sardar:Main yaha nai rahon ga hmaray paisay wapas karo,
itna chota kamra or sirf aik stool

.Tm humein janwar smjtay ho

Waiter:

sir!ye ap kamra nahi lift hai.

Head of Family

It iz said dat Husband is d Head of d family,
But ReMeMßeR dat

wife is d Neck of d family.

& D Neck can Turn d Head
Xactly d way
she wants!!

Bazurgo ki Qurbani

"Ye mulk hamare buzrugo ne bari Qurbani de k hasil kya he
or
me yahan isi lye ayaa hun taake us Qurbani ka gosht kha sakun."

(Asif Zardari)

One More Chance

Wife:
mai driver ko nokri se nikal rahi hun

kyun k aj main doosri bar
marte marte bachi hun.

Husband:
Begum isy ek moka aur to do...

Marnay Ki Jaldi

"Doctor:

cigrete noshi insan ko
ahista ahista mar deti hai.


Mareez "to hamey kon si jaldi hai.........."

Don't See the Clock

"See The ClöcK Only, When Yöu Have Nö Work

but

don't See The Clöck,

When You Are Wörking...""

=|= Bill Gates =|="

Mushkil Waqat Ka Liya

"HADIS ka mafhoom ha!!

Jis ko pasand ho k Allah mushkil o taklef k waqt us ki dua Qabol kary

wo khushali k Auqaat me

ziyada se ziyada dua kia kare"

2 Roti Laga Do

"1 jmadar guter mein jhuk kr kchra nikal rha tha



1 khan sb. whan se guzarty hua ruk kr bolay...


zara 2 roti hmara b lga dena..!"

How 2 Identify

"How 2 identify a Shiekh in class?

?

?

Simple...


Just look who is Erasing his notes,

When the teacher is erasing the board...! :-D"

Wada Karo

TEACHER: baccho wada karo kabhi cigaratte, sharaab nahi piyo ge..
Students: nahi piyain ge

TEACHER: gals ka peecha nahi karoge, na hi unhain tang karo ge..
Students: nahi karain ge

TEACHER: or watan pe apni jaan qurbaan ker do gey..
Students: ker dain ge. Aisi zindagi ka or kerna b kya.

Rizq or Aqal

"Agar Rizq..
Aqal-o-Danish Se Milta..!!

To Janwar or
Be -Waqoof Zinda
Na Rahte

Apnaiyat Ka Zakham

"Wo zakham bharne mein zyada waqt leta hai jo apnaiyat k daawedar k hota hai"

Iqbal about Faraz

DR.ALLAMA IQBAL ne farmaya:

Upar se dekh raha hoon FARAZ ki SHAYIRI ka haal "IQBAL"
Sukar hay k KAMINON ko mere SHAIR samajh nahin aatey.

:-D

Nekiyan

Tamam Nekiyan 3 Baaton Mein Jama Kardi Gai Hein.

1.Nigah

2.Khamoshi

3.Guftugu.

Shadi ki Shart

Girl:
Agr Tmhe Mjsy Shadi Krni hay tu
Har Hafte ami Ko 10kg Atta Dena Hoga
Papa Ki Car Me 10 litre Petrl Dlwana Hoga

Boy: Acha BEHAN Ami Abu Ko Salam Kehna :-D

Love ur Mothers

Main Barson Se Jannat Ki Talaash
Me Nikla Hua Tha ,

Lekj Phir "MAA" K Qadmo Me Aa Gira.......

Molvi tu Janat me Aye

Ek Aurat ne aik frishty se kaha
"Mera Nikah Mere Duniavi Shohr se Krwa den"

Farishta Bola
"Nikah tu Krwa dengy Phle koi
molvi tu Janat me Aye
~**~

Gunah Par Fakhar Mat Karo

Allah Tamam Logo K Gunah Bakhsh Dega,
Siwaye Un Logo K
Jo Gunah Kr K Logo Ko Fakhar Se Btayein,
K Hm Ne Ye Gunah Kiya Hai

Different Thinking

"Jab Mein
Dastar-Khwaan Per
2 Rung K Khaane Dekhta Hon Tou
Laraz Jata Hoon
K
Aaj Phir Kisi Ka Haq Maara Gaya Hy ...

Give Something to Someone

A 10 yr old Boy went to an Ice-cream shop & askd how much a cone costs?
Waiter said Rs: 15,

The boy started counting how much he had in his purse.
Then he asked how much a small cup cost?
Waiter said Rs: 12,

The boy asked for a small cup. He had it, paid bil & left.
When the waiter came to pick the empty cup, he was touched. The boy had left Rs: 3 coins as tip for him.

Try giving something to every1 out of whatever little u have...

Purana Ghar

Pathan Ny illegal Ghar Bnaya Ksi Ny advice Di
Ghar K Bahar Aisi Chalking Kro K Police Samjhy Purana Ghar Hy
Pathan Ny Dewar pr likh dia

Qaid e Azam Ko Riha Kro

Pathan in Pizza Hut

Pathan pizza hut gya
waiter ne pizza la k rkh dia.

pathan adhe ghnte tk betha raha

phr chillane lga k

O khocha nan rkh k gya ha

salan tmhara baap la k da ga.

Jazz Menu

Jazz menu mai khushamded

Rishte k LIYE 1 dbaen

Mngni k LIAY 2 dbaen

SHADI k LIAY 3 dbaen

Aur
Apni pasnd ki shadi k liye apni Ammi k paon dbaen :-D

New Film

Ek Larka Ghar Dair Se Lauta.

Maa: Kahan Thay?

Beta: Film Dekhne Gaya Tha 'MAA DA PYAR'.

Maa: Ab oopar Ja k ek Aur Film Dekh...
Baap DI MAAR.@

Pent ya Nekar

Sardar:
Pent ki silayi kitni hai?

Tailor:
Rs. 150

sardar:
Or Nekar ki?

Tailor:
Rs. 50

sardar:
Ok. Nekar hi see do per lambayi 42'' rakhna. . . . .

Revenge

1foji ki fiance ny usy khat likh:

''hmsaye men nya lrka aya he,tum sy kahin acha he,men uski dulhan bnun ge,meri pic wapis bijhwa do''

Foji ny apne saray sathiyon ki fiance ki 30 pics jama kin,drmyan men uski pic rkh k khat likha:

''lo, in men sy nikal lo ,men tmhari shakal bhool gya hun''

1000 Police Walay = Zardari

Aik Admi nay 1000 police walon ki dawat ki.

Police officer: Bhai G ye khana kis khushi mai khilaya?
Admi: Main nay manat mani thi k mera ghar bn giya tu mai 1000 baghairtoon ki dawat karon ga


Police officer hans K bola: Aap nay tu takaluf kia sirf Zardari ko bola latey

Khushi Kia Hoti Hay

Ek Aadmi doosrey se:
Bhai ye KHUSHYAN kiya hoti hai?

Doosra Aadmi:
Pata nahi Bhai, meri tou Jawani main hee Shaadi ho gayi thi.

Power of Expression

A blind man begging with a board written: "I'm Blind Plz Help Me"

1 man took the board & wrote something else & from that he got heavy collection.

The man wrote:

"Today Is A Beautiful Day But I Can't See It"

That's the power of expression! Expressed at right time can change many things!

50 Saal Ka Larka

50 saal ka admi larki dekhne gaya
larki ki maa behosh ho gai

hosh aya
waja puchi boli 25 saal pehle
ye mujhe b dekhne aya tha. =

Shadi Karna .......

Mom to Son
17 CENTURY
beta apne CAST ki ladki se hi shadi krna

18 CNTRY:
beta apne LEVEL ki ldki sy hi shadi krna

19 CNTRY:
byta apne MULK ki ladki


20 CNTRY:
byta apne RELIG0N ki ladki hi sy shadi krna

21 CNTRY:
byta LARKI se hi shadi krna ;-)

SHOLAY Film

1 Sardar apne kute k7 film SHOLAY dekne gya.

hero ne kaha basanti in kuto k samny mt nachna.

Sardar khara ho kr bola ticket lia he tra to bap b nache ga.

Miss Call

Ye dunya hai ek janjal
Yahaan chalta hai paisey ka kamaal
Tum b kangaal hum b kangaal
Aao khailen miss call miss call.

Father of Ibn-e-Sena

Teacher : who is the father of Ibn-e-sena ?


After thinking so much





A student replied:
"JOHN CENA"......

Larai Hone Wali Hay

Sardar: Jaldi 1 Glass Juice Do Larai Hone Wali Hai

Peene K Bad

1 Glass Or Dy Larai Hone Wali Hy,

Juice Wala: Larai Kb Hogi?

Sardar: Jab tu Paise Maange Ga.

As Years Go!!!

As years go,

U may lose ur Hair, Teeth & Eyesight,

But not ur Smartnes,Talent, Brightnes & Intellignce
Bcoz, u can nevr lose wat u don't have :-D

Fazool Kharchi

Sheikh At Petrol Pump:
Bhai 1Rs Ka Petrol Daal Do
Salesman:
Itna Petrol Dalwa K Kahan Jana Hy?
Sheikh:
Jana Kahan Hy!
Hm Tu Aisey Hi paisey urate hain.

Pathan & Girl Friend

Pathan Apni Girl Friend K Sath Ghomnay Gya Or Ahista Se Bola Mere Dil Mai 1 Bat Hai Mgar Kehte Hue Ghabrata Hun

Girl: (Khusi se) Kah B Do Na........

Pathan: Tumare Pas Naswar Hai.

Every King was a Child

Every king was once a crying baby and every great building was once a map.
Its not where you are today, but where you'll reach tomorrow.....!

When you are Blessed

when u are blessed,
HE is Al-Rehman

when u are hungry,
HE is Al-Razzaq

when u are honoured
HE is Al-Moiz

when u are weak,
HE is Al-Moqeet

when u pray,
HE is Al-Mujeeb

when u need friend,
HE is Al-Wali

when u are detracked,
HE is Al-Hadi

when u are gifted,
HE is Al-Kareem

when u are forgiven,
He is Al-Ghafoor

when u are in the darkness of hopelessness,
HE is Al-Noor

if u are sinner,
HE is Al-Tawwab

ALLAH is with u in every moment of life...!

Angrez ne Punjabi Sekhey

1 angrez Punjabi sekhnay PAKISTAN aaya.
Kuch arse bad wo wapis gaya to doston ne pocha kia sekha tm ne wahan?

Angrez bola:
.
.

O BATTI CHALI GAYE.
.
.
O BATTI AA GAYE.
.
.

O BATTI JAAN WALI HAI.
.
.
OE BATTI AAN WALI HAI.

Sadqa Kia Kehta Hay

SADQA jab apny maalik k haath sy nikalta hai to us waqt 5 jumaly kehta hai...

(1) Mein faani maal tha tu ny mujhy baqa dy di.

(2) Mein tera dushman tha ab tu ny mujhy dost bana liya.

(3) Aaj sy pehly tu meri hifazat krta tha ab mein teri hifazat karon ga.

(4) Mein haqeer tha tu ny mujhy azeem bana dia.

(5) Pehly mein tery hath main tha ab mein KHUDA k hath mein hun.

her achi baat ko doosray tak pohanchana bhi sadqa hai.

Murga in Love

Murga tu Murgi; I love u Chicken, me tumhare lye kuch b kar sakta hon...

Murgi: acha suchi.......

Murga: tum hukum tu karo jaan

Murgi:

chalo phir anda do

Choti Musibat

A Pahtan selected a short girl to marry.

Why?

Because someone told him

Musibat jitni choti ho utna acha hai

Lucky Day

Sardarji to others:
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?

One said, Yes I did

Sardar: Well, it’s your lucky day,

I found the rubberband!

What is skeleton?

Interviewer:what is skeleton?

Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person

Who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Sardar Wearing Mosquito Net

In battle Sardar was wearing mosquito net
instead of bullet proof jacket

someone asked about it

Saradar replied
O jis wich machar nai war sakda
goli kithon lange gi

Jadeed Taleemi Muhavary

1. Science se gira Arts me atka
   
   
2. Fail hoty ko practicals ka sahar
   
   
3. Degree ly k choolhay me daal
   
4. 3rd division pass, ghar ka na ghaat ka
   
5. Dost wo jo exam me kaam aye
   
6. Qadar kho deta hay roz college jana
   
7. Likhna na jany qalam mera.

Khana Kaba

Khana Kaba ki bulandi 54 feet 9 inch hai.

Khana Kaba ko tameer hue takreban 4 hazar saal ka arsa ho chuka hai.

Khana Kaba 5 paharon ke pathron se tameer kya gya hai.

Khana Kaba ki chat mai kul 80 kandilen hain. .. OR..

Khana Kaba k ghulaf ki lambai 54 meter hai.

Sunehre Aqwaal

Jo shakhs Allah se darta hai woh kabhi badla nahi layta.

Hasad karnay waala maut se pehle mar jaata hai.

Kisi per aitamaad na karo, jab tak usay ghussay may na dekh lo.

Maut ko yaad rakna nafs ki tamaam bemarioan ki shifa hai.

Khushi insaan ko itna nahi sikhati jitna keh gham.

Sachai ek aisi dawa hai jis ki lazzat karvi, magar taseer meethi hai.

Sadqa

"Logon se miltay waqt muskurana,
Andhy ko rasta dikhana,
Rastay se pathar hatana,
Aur neki ki baat batana
bhi SADQA hai".
¤~~¤

Good Friend

Good friend must have following qualities:

Cute as Crow
Smart as Elephant
Active as Turtle
Fit as Hippo
Intelligent as Sardar

No doubt u r my Gud Frend.

Zindagi Guzaarny k Tareeky

Achi zindagi guzaarny k 2 tareeky hain,


1): Jo pasand hai usay hasil ker lo..,


Ya Phir


2): Jo hasil hai usay pasänd ker lo...,

Hum khushbu k sodagar hain

Hum khushbu k sodagar hain,
Or sacha soda karte hain...

Jo kharidar ho pholon jaisa,
to bin damoo bik jate hain...

Hum sheher-e-wafa k logon ka,
tum hal bhala kya jano,

hum dil ki bat chupatay hain
aur ansu tak pi jate hain...

Jo pyar kary hum sa sacha...
Hum us per mar mit jate hain.

Sajdon Me Rona

"JIN AANKHOON KO
SAJDON ME RONAY
KI AADAT HO,


WO AANKHAIN
KABHI APNE MUQADAR
PE ROYA NAHI KARTEEN..

Ways to Earn Hasanat

Ways to earn Hasanat.

1) Give a copy of Quran 2 sum1, each time they read 4m it,u gain.
2) Donate a wheelchair 2 a hospital,each time a sick person uses it,u gain.
3) Share constructiv reading material.
4) Help in educatng a child.
5) Teach sum1 2 recite a Dua,each time they recite,u gain.
6) Share a Dua r Quran CD.
7) Prticipate in buildng Masjid.
8) Place a watr coler in a public place.
9) Plant a tree. Each time any prson r animal sits in its shade r eats 4m d tree,u gain.

Zindagi Ki Khoubsurti

Zindagi ki khoubsurti
ye nahi keh aap kitnay khush hain,

Balkeh

Zindagi ki asal khoubsurti
ye hay keh
dosray aap sey kitnay khush hain.

Walls Ice Creame

Tamam Muslims se Appeal hai k for GOD'sake
WALL's ice cream mat khain q k

"DUSRON KO KHATAY DEKH KER MERA B DIL KERTA HAI
OR MERA GALA KHARAB HO JATA HAI"

Jannat k 8 Darwazay

"Jannat" k 8 Darwazay hain,

1. Jannatul Mava
2. Darul Maqam
3. Darul Salaam
4. Darul Khuld
5. Jannatul Adan
6. Jannatul Naim
7. Jannatul Kasif
8. Jannat"Jannat" k 8 Darwazay hain,

"Allah" sy dua hy k roz'e Qiyamat hr Drwazay sy aap ka "naam" pukara jaye,
"Aameen"
"Dil se ap ke liye dua go.

Kissi Aur Ka Liya

Main iss sy bari zabat ki kya misaal doon

Wo mujh sa gulay lipat k roya bhi to kssi oor k liya

3 Replies of Dua

Allah always has 3 replies to our Dua:

1."Yes"
2."Yes but not now"
3. I have a better plan for U

There is never "No"

Just keep praying Faithfully!

Fursat Nahi Milti

Usay Main Yaad aata hoon magar Fursat k Lamhon mein...

Magar yeh Baat bhi such hai usay Fursat nahi milti...!

Wo Bewafa Na Tha

Wo Bewafa na tha yun he badnaam ho gya "FARAZ"....

Hazaron chahney waley they kis kis say wafa karta.....!!

Marriage

Love may be
blind

but

marriage
is a

real eye-opener!

God Bless Our Parents.

Little girl & her father crossing a bridge.

Father said: Plz hold my hand

Girl: No dad, u hold my hand

Father: What's the difference

Girl: If I hold your hand & something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go.
but
If you held my hand
I know you will never let my hand go.

Zardari pe Mazmoon

Aap 1950 May Peda huay,
Ap ne bgairti ki ibtedai taleem apne mohallay k school se hasil ki
Aur isi fun mei ala taleem ek naamwar daku se le

Jab Dakait hone ka Certificate hasil kia to ap ki umar sirf 16 saal thi, ye apka record hy
Phir Benazir se Shadi kr k Ap Ne professional Bgairti ka aghaz kia or Mr.10% mashoor huye

Phir kurse-e-sidarat pe aa bethe or mulk lootne mein apna muqam banaya
apki tareekh wafat ka sb ko intizar hy.

Sardar & Rikshawala

Srdar:bus stand jany k kitnay paisy?
Rikshawala:50 Rs

Sardar: 20 Rs mai chaly ga to thek hai

Rikshawala:20 Rs mai kon ly jaye ga?

Srdar: tu pechy beth mai la jata hon

Pagal Ka Letter

Aik PagaL Letter Likh raha tha.
Doctor ne pocha kis ko Likh rahy ho?

PagaL: Khud ko.
Dr: Kia Likha hai?

PagaL:Mujhe kya pata?
Abhi mujhe miLa thori hai.

Jahanum Mein Jalnay Ki Wajah

"Insaan gunaah krnay ki waja se
Jahanum mein Nhi jata,

baLkay

gunah per mutmayin rehnay
aur touba Na krnay ki waja se
Jahanum mein Jata hai".

Kadi Mehak Naien Mukdi Pullan Vichon

Baba bhulay shah nay farmaya:

KÅDI MÉHÅK naien mukdi PHÜLLÅÑ vichon,
PHÜL sukdey sukdey SÜKK jandey

KOi qadar na jany payar di,
dil tutday tuday tut jandey

Koi mool nai jug tay rishtiyan da
AY chuhtaday chuhtaday chuht jandy

KADI payar nai mukda dilan vichon
SAAH mukdy mukdy muk jandy.,

Mobile Charger

Sardar ki biwi bhaag gai 3 din baad wapis aayi

Sardar ghusse se bola

'Ab kaya lene aayi ho



Biwi boli

''apne mobile ka charger bhool gai thi.

S.H.D

Teacher: naalaay ko english me kia kehte hy.

Student: S.H.D

Teacher: kia matlab.


Student:

Shalwar Holding Device

Train Ki Takkar

Railway officer was taking an interview...
Officer:
Tumhen pata chale k 2 train ek hi track pe opposite dirction me aa rhi hen to tum kia karo gye?
Applicant: Mai kanta badal donga.

Officer: Agr na badal sako?
Applicant: Mai Red signal donga.

Officer: Light na ho to?
Applicant: Mai Red Flag dikha donga.

Officer: Flag bhhi na mila to?
Applicant: Mai Choty Bhai ko bula longa.

Officer: Wo kyun ??

Applicant:
Usey train ki takkar dekhne ka boht shoq hai

Beautiful Words

• "Ikhlaq acha hona 'ALLAH' se mohabbat ki daleel hai"
  
  
• "Dil ka sukoon chahte ho to hasad se door raho"
  
  
• "Museebat ki shikayat mat karo is se 'ALLAH' naraz aur dushman khush hota hai"
  
  
• "Khush rehna chahte ho to doosron ko khush rakho"
  
  
• "Ilm aisa badal hai jis se rehmat barasti hai."
  
  
• "Nek banney ki koshish aise karo jaise haseen banney ki koshish kartey ho."
  
  
• "Kisi se milo is tarah k wo dobara aap se milne ki tamanna karey...!!!

Value of Today

2 realize da value of 1 week
Ask da editor of a weekly newspaper

To realize the value of 1 hour
Ask the lovers who r just waiting to meet

To realize the value of 1 min
Ask a person who has just missed a train

To realize the value of 1 sec
Ask a person who has just avoided an accident

Treasure every moment
That you have !

Yesterday is history,
Tomorow is mystry,
Today is gift that is why it is called PRESENT

Jab Kush Bhool Jao

"Jab tum kuch bhool jao to darood parho,
INSHALLAH yaad aa jaye ga"

Jo kisi preshani main ho wo darood ki kasrat karay,
kyun k ye preshani or dukh le jata hai,
Rizq barhata or Hajatain puri kerta hai,

Dua kis Tarah Maango

ALLAH Se Dua Mango To Dua Ki Qabuliat Par Yakeen Rakho

Kyun K ALLAH Ghafil Aur Laparwa Dilo Ki Dua Kabool Nahi Karta (Bukhari)..!!

Plastic Surgery

Dr Sahab Plastic Surgery karvane me kitna kharcha ayega

Dr:5 lakh

Sardar: Agar 'Plastic' hum dey to? :-)

Zara Theher Jao

Kareeb Mout Khari Hai Zara Theher Jao..
QaZa Se Aankh Lari Hai Zara Theher Jao..

Thaki Thaki C FiZaYen BuJhe buJhe Tare..
Bari Udaas Ghari Hai Zara Theher Jao..

Naheen Umeed Ke Ham Aaj Ki Seher DeKhen..
Yeh Raat Ham Per Kari Hai Zara Theher Jao..

Abhi Na Jao Ke Tar0n Ka Dil Dharakta Hai...
Tamam Raat Pari Hai Zara Theher Jao..

Phir Iske Baad Kabhi Hum Tum Ko Na RokenGe...
Labon Pe Saans Ari Hai Zara Theher Jao

Mera Yaar Hasda

Meri Rooh Vich Mera Yaar Vasda
Meri Ankh Vich Usda Deedar Vasda
Sanoo Apne Dard Di Parwa Nahi
Par Rab Kare Har Waqt Rahe Mera Yaar Hasda

Friendship Quotes

A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.

A friend can tell you things you don’t want to tell yourself.

A friend hugs your heart.

A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.

A friend is one who dislikes the same people you dislike.

Enjoy for Sunday

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: why three?

Husband: 1 for you and two for your parents

Jannat

Wife:
Darling Tumhe Pata Hai
Jannat Mein Husband Aur Wife
Ko Ek Saath Nahi Rehne Dete

Husband:
Isi Liye To Usey Jannat
Kehte Hain ..:p

Ziada Piyar

Biwi ko thappad marne k bad
Pati:admi use marta he jise wo pyar karta he.
Biwi ne zor se mara & boli
aap kya samje me apse pyar nahi krti..:p

Chota Khandan

1truck ki back pe likha tha
Chota khandan, zindagi asan

us k nichy likha tha

kmran
imran
irfan
Ehsaan
gurya
bubli
guddu
sunny
Fahad
Or
Saad
k baap ka pegham.

"Faraz" Maar Daala

Ghulail sE Bachon
Ne ik Baaz Mar Dala,

Foj ne Dushman ka Jahaz
Mar Dala,

Mobile Users B Peechy Kese Rehtay,

Ultay seedhay Shairon sE
"Faraz"
Maar Dala.

After Accidents

Difrent answrz of people of difrent contriez aftr acidnts.

Amercn: Sory man.

Indian: Dekh k bheya.

British: Its ok.

German: Wow.

Pakstani: O ksi aani deya.

Khudkushi Hram Hay

1 dAfa pathan khudkushi pr Tqreer kr raTha
Pathan jzbati ho kr kehne lga

Khdkushi hram hy
Kufr hy
Gnah hy
Zulm hy

Is se behtr hy k insan zehr kha k mar jaye..

Muhawaray ka Istamal

Teacher:
"Magar" ka jumla banao.
.
.
.
Student:
wo mare aage aa gaye thay aur main un k magar magar tha................!

** DUA * *

Ay Allah hamaray mulk Pakistan ki hifazat farma.
(AAMEEN)

Pakistan K dusman dehshat gardoun ko tabah-o-barbaad kar dey.
(AAMEEN)

Ay Allah, Hazrat Muhammad(S.A.W)
K sadqay Pakistan K tamaam shehroun(cities) ko khud-kush hamloun sey mehfooz farma.

AAMEEN,
SUMMA-AAMEEN.

What is Globalisation?

Nice example is Princess Diana's death.

An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend in a German car driven by a Dutch driver crashes in a French tunnel while being chased by Italian press reporters on Japanese bikes, treated by Portugese doctor with Brazilian medicine.

This sms was written by a Pakistani on a Chinese phone smuggled by a Afghani via Dubai.

This is called 'Globalisation'!!

Women Driving

Wife:
Chalo na aj bahar chaltay hain 0r driving main karongi...!

Husband:
Oho !
Matlab jayen gay car mein 0r ayen gay akhbaar mein....?

عورت سے چار وجوہات کی بنا پر نکاح کیا جاتا ہے

رسول اکرم صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم نے فرمایا :

عورت سے چار وجوہات کی بنا پر نکاح کیا جاتا ہے ۔

اس کے مال کی بنا پر ،

اس کے خاندانی حسب و نسب کی بنا پر ،

اس کے حسن و جمال کی بنا پر اور

اس کے دین کی بنا پر ۔

پس تم دین دار عورت ( سے نکاح کرنے میں کامیابی ) حاصل کرو ۔

صحيح بخاري

كتاب النکاح

باب : الاكفاء في الدين

حدیث : 5146

Aala Zarf

Agar kisi ka zarf aazmana ho tu us ko Izzat do
Wo aala zarf hua tu aap ko zyada izzat de ga
aur kam zarf hua tu Khud ko Aala samjhe ga

Test hani One Day

Ek sardar ki maa ki tabiyat kharab thi,

Jab hospital legaye to doctor ne bola k in k test hoon gaye.

Sardar bola in ki umar zyada hai test nahi one day karwa lo.

Sardar aur Paani

Sardar: aaj main ne pani ko ullu bana diya.

Freind: pani ko ullu? Woh kaise?

Sardar: oye! Subha main ne pani garam kiya aur thande pani se naha liya

Sardar Ka Dukh

Sardar dukhi tha

Kisi ne pocha kyon tension main ho?

Sardar: yaar ek dost ko plastic surgry k liye 3 lakh diye tahe ab main us ko pehchan nahi pa raha hoon.

Aankh Bach Gaii

1 admi ki bivi marjati hay to is admi ka dost taziat k liay ata hay or
kahta yar yay kasaay hogaya

usnay kaha: yar market say arhi thi k goli akar sir main lag gai
yay sun k dost bola

chaloo Allah ka lakh lakh shukar hay k aankh bacha gaii

American and Pakistani

karachi ky ek businessman ky ghar ek american aata hai, businessman usssy subha walk per ly jata hai....
shareh-e-faisal per ek buliding dekhi tu pocha.....
american: yeh kon si bulidng hai.
businessman:"c breaze" 20 floor hain
american: yeh tu mamoli baat hai. aisi buldngs america main 20 days man ban jati hai.

kuch aagy ja kar...............
american:yeh kon si bulindg hai.
businessman: "kashif center" 20 floor hain.
american: aisi buldngs america main 15dayz man ban jati hain.

phr chandrigar road per aa gaye..amrican ny habib bank buldnsg ki taraf ishara kiya aur poocha.
american: yeh kon si buildng hai.
business man ju pehly se gussy main tha.
bussinesman: pata nahi subha tak tu yahan nahi thi.

Tum chup raha karo

Saas ne bahu se kha : "Beti ik hafta ho gaya hai tumhari shadi ko,tum kuch bolti kiyoun nahin."

Bahu: "mujhe ammi ne bolune se mana kiya hai"

Saas : "Beti tumhari ammi Ghalat kheti hai tum baatain karo"

Bahu : sassu maa ik swaal ker sakti houn.

Sass beti kaho : "Saasu maa AGAR MERE HUSBAND KI DEATH HO GAYEE TO AAP MUJHE GHAR MEIN BITHAAIN GAY YAA MERI DOOSRI SHADI KARAIN GAY"

SAAS
"Beti tumhari ammi teekh kheti theen tum chup raha karo"

Jadoo Ka Charag

aik pathan ko jado ka charagh milta hai
us mai se jin nikulta hai or
pathan se khta hai apni 3 wish butao

pathan
aik big bangla
us mai bohut ameer family
or muhay us banglay ka chokedar bana do

Egg Fry or Boil

Ek shohar ko apni biwi ke her kaam mein keere nikalne ki aadat thi.

Agar wo egg boil kerti tu kehta fry kerna chahiay tha.
Agar fry kerti tu kehta boil kerna chahiay tha.

Ek din tang aakar biwi ne ek egg fry kia or ek boil, yani dono kisam ke egg bana diye.

Ab shohar ko samajh mein nahi aaya ke kia aitraaz kare,
tu us ne kaha:

'Aray bewaqoof! Jis egg ko fry kerna tha us ko tum ne boil kerdia
or jis ko boil kerna tha us ko fry kerdia!'

Modern Faqeer

Faqeer:
Baji bhooka hoon, Allah k naam thora sa khana dedo.
Baji: Khana abi nai paka.

Faqeer:
Baji number likh lo jab pak jae

to miss call de dena.,,..

Ve Gujra Ve

Hum to samjhe k wo humen koi song suna rhi hai.
.
.

.
Par usnay

"ve Gujra ve, ve Gujra ve"

keh kr apnay bhai ko bula lia. ;-)

SWOT analysis

A person doing his swot analysis

Strength = my wife

Weakness = my neighbors wife

Opportunity = when my neighbor is on tour

Threat = when i m on tour..!

Trust and Friendship

"Friendship" lives inside a room!
It has a door!
And door has a lock!
It's key is "Trust"!
If "U" lose da trust!
"Friendship" can never be found again.

Dukh Is bat ka Hai

Mere mehboob ki shadi raqeeb se ho gai
DUKH IS BAT KA NAHI

Dono ne mujhe jalane k liye shadi pe bulaya
DUKH IS BAT KA NAHI

Wo khushiyan manate rahe
DUKH IS BAT KA B NAHI

Meri muhabbat ka khoon hua
DUKH IS BAT KA B NAHI


Dukh to is bat ka hai k
Dono ne Coke Pi or mujhe dekh kr boly


"BRRRRRRR"

Zardari Ka Daura

Zardari ka USA ka daura kamyab raha

Zardari ka china ka daura kamyab raha

Zardari ka japan ja daura kamyab raha





Bas ab dil k daure ka intzar hai...

Bijli ki Taar

Aik admi pe Bijli ki taar gir gae

Admi currunt se tarp tarp k marne he wala tha:

K:

Light chali gae,
Admi khushi Se bola .


-Pakistan zindabad-

From the Moon

1 American, 1 chinese aur 1 pakistani chaand par gaye
Teeno ne nicge dekha to zameen par 1 lambi line nazar ayi

American: ye USA ki building hai

Chinese: nahi ye deewar-e-cheen hai

Pakistani: oye pagalo na ye building hai na deewar




Ye to Utility store k bahir aata lene walo ki line hai

Room with Fire

Interviewer:
imagine that u r in a room
with all doors & windows closed &
it caught fire,

now how can u escape?

Sardar ji: very simple,


i'll stop imagining...

Duaaon Ka Talib

61 SAAL me Pehli br ap sb se apne haq me DUA ki Request kr rha hu.

Plz meri behtry k liye dua krein r sms Fwrd karein.

Duaaon ka Talib Apka Apna


"PAKISTAN".

Zalim Taliban

Zalim TALIBAN ki drindagi ka 1 or jeta jagta sabot...

MINGORA SWAT me JAHANZEB COLLEGE k samne

5 Masom Students se gun point py



"NaswaR" Cheen li.,

SMS about Zardari

Dear frndz st0p f0rwarding msgs ab0ut zardari because he is our president
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kamina guse vich aa k sare packages band karwa dega tay changay ro ge?:-)

Daman-e-Mustafa (S.A.W)

Koi DAULAT pe NAAZ karte hain,
koi $HOHRAT pe NAAZ karte hain,

Ji$ke hathon main DAMAN-E-MUSTAFA (S.A.W.) ho!
wo apniQI$MAT pyNAAZ karty hain....!!

Find a Sweet Person

It's very easy
2 eat Sweet Choclate,
Speak Sweet Words,
Watch
Sweet Dreams
But
It's very Difficult
2
Find A
Sweet Person but I Salute U
Tusi mainu lub hi laya..

Farz Karo K....

Farz karo k tum sa sunder na koi hum ne dekha ho.
Farz karo k aankh tumhari bin kajal bhi pyari ho.

Farz karo k pyar tumhara mera jevan dhara ho.
Farz karo k dekh k tum ko hum ne bhi dil hara ho.

Farz karo k pyar mein terey hum ko neend na aati ho.
Farz karo k surat teri din mein bhi turrpati ho.

Farz karo k bin terey na ik pal mujh ko rehna ho.
Farz karo k ye sub mujh ko sach much tujh se kehna ho!

Modern Love Story

"LOVE" In 1980
Started From Eyes,
Grew With Gifts &
Ended With Tears!


"LOVE" In 2009
Starts From Mobiles
Grows With Balance Sharing,
&

Ends With
SIM chngE

Insan Ajeeb Hai

Insan b kitna ajeeb hai jb kisi cheez se darta hai to us se door baghta hai lekin jb Khuda se darta hai to us k or nazdeek ho jata hai

Mera Naam Badal Dena

Ek lafz "muhabat" hai ise kr k dekho,
tum brbad na ho jao to mera naam badal dena.


Ek lafz "muqadar" hai is se lar k dekho,
tum haar na jao to mera naam badal dena.


Ek lafz"wafa" hai, zamane me nahi milta
kahin se dhoond kr lao to mera naam badal dena.


Ek lafz "ansoo" hai ise dil main chupa kr dekho tum,
ankhon se na beh jaye to mera naam badal dena,


Ek lafz"judai"hai ise seh k dekho tum,
toot kr na bikhar jao to mera naam badal daina...

Agar Kuch Banna Ho Tu?

Zndagi me agr kch banna ho
kch hasil krna ho tu hamesha apne dimaag ki suno
agr dimaag se koi jawab na aye to
anken bnd kr k
socho

.

.


kya mre pas dimag hy?

What is Love

What Is Love?

When A Mother Gives Da ßest Piece Θf çhiken To Her §on And He Passes It Θn To His §ister

When A Puppy Licks His Master Éven After ßeing Left Alone All Day

When A Girl Paints Her §ister Nails çoz §he knows §he çant Paint Them Wid Left Hand

When A ßaby Girl Puts All Her ÉnrgY Giving Her Dady A Head Massage

When After A Horrible Day, A Man Looks Up ThE §ky, Thanking GOD For Things Not Going Any Worse. .

"This Is Love"

Subah Uth kar

Subah uth kar 2 kaam kiya karo::::


1. Namaz perha karo, is say aap ka din acha guzray ga...

2. Naha liya karo, is say dosroon ka din acha guzray ga.

Return Ticket

Titanic K Saath sheikh Doob Raha Tha,
Or Hans Bhi Raha Tha,
police: oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Sheikh: shukar Hai Mainay Return Ticket Nahi kharida!

Saza kis ko Mili

A man goes 2 hell,
He saw there
Asif Zardari dancing with Reema.
Man: Is ki saza itni acchi q hay?
Angel: Saza is ko nhi, Reema ko mili hay...

Aaib Talash Karna

"Kisi ka Aaib talash krne wale ki misal
Us Makhi ki C hay
jo sara khobsurat jism chhor kar
sirf ZAKHAM per hi bethti hay"

Y Muslims says ALLAH

Y Muslims says ALLAH? ALLAH is the unique word, ALLAH name has no plural, no antonym, no musculan & no feminin bcoz ALLAH is one.

But Khuda,God,Bhagvan, Devta,Lord & all other names have their plural, antonym, musculan & Feminin i.e God= Gods, Godess Khuda= Khudaon, Khudahan Bhagvan= Bhagvano Devta= Devi
But ALLAH is AHD(one)

Allah Ka Azaab

'Allah ke azab se dar magar itna na dar ke is ki rehmat se na-umeed ho jaey,
aur us ki rehmat se umeed rakh magar itne na rakh ke is ke azab ko bhool jaey.

MAA

~ Sinay se laga kr kaha krti thi Maa mujh ko,

~ Tu Laal ha mera na sata mujh ko,

~ Pachtaye ga ek din jb mein chali jaon gi,

~ Na chahtay hoay bhi akaila duniya mein chore jaon gi,

~ Zamana dikhaye ga garmi ki shiddat tujh ko

~ Yaad kar k roaye ga tu phir mujh ko,

~ Mudaton se meri maa ne sinay se nahi lagaya,

~ Ab so gai khak men jab kuch kehnay ka waqt aaya,

Please Just take care of ur MOTHERs before it is too late.
Happy Mothers Day..

Stupid Rain!!!

When I came home in the rain,

Brother asked why u didn't take an umbrella

Sister advised why u didn't wait till rain stopped.

Father angrily warned, only after getting cold, u will realize.

But Mother , while drying my hair, said,

Stupid Rain!

Couldn't it wait, Till my child came home.

That's MOTHER

Husband wife mein larai hoi,

Husband wife mein larai hoi,
Husband ghar se chala gaya,


Husb:Rat ko phone pay,”Khanay mein kia hai”

Wife:Zeher.



Husb:Mai dair se aonga, tum kha kar so jana

Wife came home with a goat.

Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Bhains,,,,, Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”


Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon”

Ye Dolat, Ye Shohrat

Sochta hon k

Ye Dolat Ye Shohrat Ye Bangle Ye Dunya bhar k Aish-o-Aram

sub Chhor k kaheen chala jaoon

lekin phir sochta hon

pehle
ye sub MIL to jaye.

Take Care of Your Mothers

Mirza Adeeb kahtay hain:
Aba G mujhay martay thy to Ami bacha lti thi
1 din mne socha k Ami ptai krngi to Aba g kia krnge?

Ye dkhne k lye mne Ami ka kaha na mana

Unho ne kaha Bzar se dahi la, to main na laya
Unho ne salan km dia.Main ne ziada pr israr kia.

Unho ny kaha perhi k upr beth kr roti khao.
Mn zamen pr dri bcha k beth gya. Kpry mely kr lye.

Mra lehja b gustakhana tha Mje pori tawqa thi k ami zrur maren gi..
Magar unho ne mje seny sy lga kr kaha:
'Q Dilawr putr! Maa sdqy beemar to nhi.'

Is wqt mre ansu thy k ruktay hi nhi thy.

(Mirza Adeeb ki kitab 'MATTI KA DIYA' se)
So take care of ur MOTHER..PLZzz.

Your Sorrows

A very practical reality put into words by someone.

"There's no market for your sorrows in this world,

so never advertise them".

Better Tomorrow

We work for making better tomorrow...
When tomorrow comes

instead of enjoying we start thinking for better tomorrow
but tomorrow never comes

Mathematician

A box ws nt opening.

Physician applied all laws bt it didnt opn
Chemist aplied all reactions bt it didnt opn

Mathmatician came n said
'LETS SUPPOSE IT'S OPEN':-

Bura Dost

~"Bura dost aag ki manind hy"~"
Agr jalta hoga to apko jala dega"~"

Or agr bujha ho ga tou ap k hath kale kr dega"...

" DUA "

Ae Malik-e-Arz-o-Sama,
Ae Khaliq-e-Kainat,
Nabikarim(S.A.W) k sadqy,

Hamesha Mehfoz Rakna,
Berozgari Se, Tangdasti Se,
Aazmaish Se, Rizq Ki Kami Se,
Ruswai Se, Qarz Se, Marz Se,
Jahanum Se, Hisab Kitab Se,
Aulaad K Dukh Se, Waledain Ki Nafarmani Se,
Deen Ki Dori Se, Amanat Mei Khiyanat Se
Nagahani Maut Se

Jo is SMS ko parh rha hai Ya"ALLAH"
Usy 2no Jahan may Hr khushi dy o
r os ki zindagi daraz kar dy

(Ameen)

Allah se Doori

3 Cheezain Insan Ko ALLAH Se Door Krti Hain:

1. Apne AAMAL Ko ZIADA SAMAJNA
2. Apne GUNAHON Ko BHOOL Jana
3. Apne ApKo Sub Se BEHTAR SAMAJNA

ANMOL''na thay.

Aankhon mein jo Tehrerain thi,
Honton pe woh Bol na thay,

Hum thay uss k Pyar k Aashiq,
Bus Haathon mein Kashkol na thay,

Hum ne uss ko Toot k chaha,
Yeh uss ka Haq tha lekin,

Woh b Hum ko Toot k chahey,
Hum itnay "ANMOL'' na thay.

Dedicated to My Childhood

Let me take u back in time !

when there was only
chupan_chupai, POLKA cone,

Watching cartoons on PTV at 7:15 a.m b4 going to school,
6 p.m NTM (STN) channel Ninja Turtles, captain Planet, Thunder Cats.

Late nite shows-Automan, AirWolf, Knight rider.

Pakistan wining cricket & hockey worldcup,
We used to know each & evryone in our lane...

Chup chup k kite flying, 0h haan Rs.7 ki Pepsi.
Bun samosa. Jubliee, Mitchells toffee. Bubble Gummers shoes.

Pillow Fight, running wid friends who ran even faster !...


Dedicated to my childhood

THALLAY LAG GAYA

pyar bhi ajab shay ha
maa sy ho to ibadat
baap se ho to muqadas
bhai se aqidat
behan sey farz

&

biwi sy ho to THALLAY LAG GAYA:-

Jhoot Rizq ko Kam Karta Hay

"Tuba Gunah ko kam karti hy"
"Jhoot Rizq ko"
"Ghibat Neki ko"
"Ghum Umer ko"
"Sadqa Balaa ko"
"Ghusa Aqal ko"Or"Takabur ilam ko

Ascha sa SMS

How r u
Agr koi acha sa sms ho To jaldi se.......

Usay paper pe likh k
Fold kr k
Almari men rakh k
lock lga do.

Kahin ghalti se send hi na ho jaey..

Bura Zamana

Logon per ek zamana esa aaega

K

Unka maqsad unka pait hoga
Daulat unki izzat hogi
Aurat unka qibla hoga

Or
Paisa unka deen hoga
Or woh
Bad-tareen log honge

Or
Aakhirat me unka hissa na hoga.

Kis Ko Kehtey Hain

Kitabon Sey Daleelen Doon
Ya khud Ko Samney Rakh Doon

W0 Mujh Sey Pooch Betha hai,
"MOHABBAT" Kiss Ko Kehtey Hain..!

Mujay Yaad aata hi

" Itna tasalsul to meri sanson may b nahi MoHsin
Jis ravani sy wo shakhs mujy yad aata hai "

Is dasht k sehra ko samandar kar de

Is dasht k sehra ko samandar kar de
Yaa meri ankh k har ashk ko pathar kar de
Ya Allah mein aur nahi mangta tujh se kuch bhi
Meri chadar mere peron k barabar kar de
Mujhe ghair na lay yeh aatish-e-duniya ya Rab
Mujh par apni rehmat k saye ki Tu wussat ker de
Mujhe khaak na kar day meri hasti ka ghurur
Mere naffs pe tu mujh ko moutbar ker de
Ae khuda meri duwaon mein wo taseer ker de
Mangun mein tujh se qatra tu usko samandar ker de.(AMEEN)

Maa ko Khuda ny ya Azmat Kamal di

Maa ko Khuda ny ya Azmat Kamal di,
Maa ki dua pe 1 Musibt b tal di ,

Quran ne Maa k piyar ki is trah misal di
Janat otha kr Maa k kadmo main dal di

Naraazgi

"Naraazgi zahir Karna, dil mein burai raKhnay say behtar hay."

How to be President

Dil chahta hy Chori kru,

jhoot bolu,
Sharab peu,
Rishwat khau,
Qatal kru
or jail jau.

Shayad is tarah kabhi Ma b
President of pakistan bun jau

Garmiyan

Garmiyan Aa Gai Hain
Apny Sar Par Gila or Thanda Kapra Rakhna

Dimaag Par Sooraj Ki Aag Mt Parne Dena

Q KBHOOSA JALDI AAG PAKARTA HY

Darood Sharif

"kuch aise log hongay jinko JANAT m janay ko hukam diya jayega
lekn wo JANAT ka rasta bhool jaen gay"

Pucha gaya ye kon log hongy?

"ye wo log hain jin k samnay mera naam lia jaye
aur ye muj pr durud bhejna bhool gae hon"

Husn-e-Akhlaq

"Sb Se Wazni Chez Jo Qayamat K Din
Momin K Mizan Ma Rakhi Jae G,
Wo Us Ka Husn-e-Akhlaq Hoga"

Beautiful belive;

Jb meri DUA Qbol ho to khushi hoti ha k
is main meri marzi ha

aur jab na ho to khshi or b brh jati ha k
Allah ki mrzi ha

Gali Dena

"Jis nay ksi musalman ko gali di
us nay BAIT ULAH giranay se b bra gunah kiya"

Plz fwd this. Becoz ye hm sb ka masla hy.

Sheik Stops Rikshaw

A SHEIKH stop Rakshaw & asked:
DAATA- DARBAR jao gy?

Driver: G jaon ga janab.

Sheikh: Acha ye lo mera shopper wapsi pe meray lye "CHAAWAL"le aana...

4 Important Things

Gunah se Tauba krna wajib hæ mgr Gunah se bchna zyada wajib hæ


Tauba ki tklif se behtr hæ k Gunah kya hi na jaæ

Gunah kisi na kisi surat dil ko præshan rkhta hæ

Sbsæ bra gunah wo hæ jo krnæ walæ ki nzr mæ chota ho

Rabb Rahim Hay

Tmhara RABB boht haya wala or Kareem hai,
Jb banda uski tarf hath uthata hai to
usay sharm ati hai k usy khali hath lotaye.

Astagfaar

"wo shaks apne aap pr zolam krta hai
jo pore din main
ek bar bhi Astagfaar nahi krta"

4 Chezen Janat Ki Taraf Bulti Hain

4 Chezen Janat Ki Taraf Bulati Hen

1 Apni Musibat Ko Chupana
2 Waldain K Sath Neki
3 Chupa Kr Sadqa Dena
4 Kasrat SyLA ILAHA ILLALLAH Kehna

~~4swal~~

Qayamat k din kisi admi k qadam uswaqt tak harkat nai kr sake ge
jab tak is se ye swal na krliya jai ga k

1>umar kahan guzari
2>eelm k mutabiq kahan taka amal kiya
3>mal kese kamaya kahan kharach kiya
4>jisam ko kin kin kamo me lagaya..

A Sardar's Speach

A Sardar's Speach to his workers in England:

"Do do, not do not do.
Eat ur husband also lie in oven.
What my goes?
Your goes your father's goes.

In punjabi:
Krna hy kro, nhe krna na karo.
Khasmaa nu khayo te chullay ch pavvo.
Mera ki janda ay?
Tera ty tery peo da janda ay.

Pakistani Flaq

1 Pathan 'PAKISTAN' ka flag lene gya,
shop wale ne use flag dya

Pathan ne kuch pocha jise sun k shop waly ny usy mara

Guess??

Pathan:
Is Me Aur Colors Dikhao.

Mere AAQA (S.A.W)

Mainay Us Pak Zaat Pay Likhnay ki Jasarat ki Hai,
Jis k Daman Pay Farishton Nay Ibadat ki Hai.

Kis ki jurrat mere AAQA k Barabar Aaey,
Mere AAQA nay tou Nabiyoun ki Imamat ki Hai.

Zakham kha kar Bhi jo Phoolon ki Ridayen Bakhshay,
Mere AAQA Nay Tou kaanton Sey Mohabbat ki Hai.

ALLAH ALLAH Woh kya Log Thay Jin Logon Nay,
Chaltay Phirtay Mere AAQA ki Ziyarat ki Hai.

AAsmanon Pay Zameenon Pay Hukumat ki Hai,
"Jis Nay Mere AAQA ki Ata'at ki Hai". @@

Ek Raat Hui Barsaat Boht

Ek Raat Hui Barsaat Boht,
Main Roya Sari Raat Boht...

Hr Gham Tha Zamaanay Ka Lekin,
Main Tanha Tha Uss Raat Boht...

Phir Aankh Se Ek Saawan Bersa,
Jab Seher Hui Tou Khayaal Aaya..

Wo Baadal Kitna Tanha Tha,
Jo Bersa Saari Raat Boht.

Mohabat

Apni he dhun mai rehti thi,
Ek larki shokh aur chanchal c,
phulon say batain karti thi teetli k rung pakarti thi,
Ek dhanak thi us k anchal pay,
phir jany kya tufan aya,
teetli k rung bikhar gaye,
Aanchal k rung utar gaye,
jab pucha kisi ney aye larki !
tumney yeh chup kiyon sadhi hai,
wo kuch na boli bas row di,
Aur khaak pay hath ki ungli say..
Aik lafz "MOHABAT" Likh dala !

Zubaan Ki Taizi

'Apni Zubaan Ki Taizi Us
"MAA" Per Mat Aazmao,

Jisnay Tumhein
Bolna Sikhaya

Dua aur Neki

'Taqdeer ko Dua ke ilawa koi cheez nahi badal sakti
aur Umer mein Neki k ilawa koi cheez izafa nahi kar sakti

Nafs ki Pasand

jb ankhen

nafs ki pasandeda chezain

dekhnay lagen to

dil anjaam se

andha ho jata hai.

DAROOD K FAWAID:

• Darood pak sari nafal ibadaton sy afzal hy.
• Darood pak prhnay walay ka gunah teen (3) din tak farishtay nhi likhtay.
• Darood pak ki kasrat krnay walay ko qabar mein na matti khaye gi na keeray.
• Darood pak fatuhaat ki chaabi hy.
• Darood pak ki kasrat aarzuon k hasil krny ka zariya hai

Khushnaseeb

Girl: Peer ji.. Mere 2 affairs hain..

Un dono mai kis k sath Shadi hogi?
Wo Khushnaseeb kon hoga?


Peer: Pehle se Shadi hogi aur doosra Khushnaseeb hoga.. :-

Mohabaat

Khu$hi ME Gham Ki Lazat nhi To Kuch B nhi,
Zindagi ME Mohabat nhi To Kuch B nhi,

Tamam UmER Ebadat KartE Raho lEkin,
ALLAH k Rasol S.A.W se Mohabt nhi To Kuch B nhi.

Aap B Is Dua Me Shamil Ho Ja'en!'

Ae Allah! Muj Pr Or Mere Tumam Doston Pr Reham Frma,
Mujhe Or Mere Tumam Doston Ko Bacha,

Be'rozgari Sy,
Tangdasti Sy,
Aazmaish Sy,
Rizq Ki Kami Sy,
Ruswai Sy,
Qarz Sy,
Marz Sy,
Jahan'num Sy,
Hisab Sy,
Aulad K Dukh Sy,
Waledain Ki Na'frmani Sy,

'Ya Allah Meri Ye Dua Tumam Doston K Haq Me Qabool Frma Aameen Summa Aameen"

Qurani Surton Ki Khasusiyat.

Surah-e-Fatiha Allah k azab se bchati hai.
Surah-e-Yaseen qyamat k din pyas se bchati hai.
Surah-e-Waqia fikar-o-fakay se bchati hai.
Surah-e-Mulk azab-e-qabar se bchati hai.
Surah-e-Kosar dushmanon ki dushmani se bchati hai.
Surah-e-Kafroon mout k waqt kufar se bchati hai.
Surah-e-Ikhlas munafqat se bchati hai.
Surah-e-Falaq haadson se bchati hai.
Surah-e-Naas waswason se bchati hai.

Dimaag se Socho

Zindagi me
agr kch banna ho
kch hasil krna ho

tu hamesha apne dimaag ki suno

agr dimaag se koi jawab na aye to
anken bnd kr ksocho
.
.
kya mre pas dimag hy?

Sheikh ka Business

Bus Me Bethe Huay Ek Chinese Ne
Machar Pakar K Kha Lia.

Pas Betha Hua Sheikh Ye Dekh Raha Tha.

Us Ne Bhi Ek Machar Pakra
Aur Chinese Se Poocha.


Kharide Ga?

Nice lines:

U can live without the person
who says:
u r mine... But


U can NEVER live without someone
who says:
I m yours...

Feel the difference....

World's Best

Most beautiful word is الله,

Sweetest name "محمد " (S.A.W)

Most beautiful calling is "اذان"

Best pray is "نماز"

World perfect book is "قرآن"

And You are so lucky YOU are a "مسلمان"

Long Life

Man : Is there any way for long life ?

Doctor : Get married.

Man : Will it help?

Doctor : No,

but the thought of
long life
will never come

During the Weding

Why do couples hold hands
during their wedding?-

It's a formality

just like two boxers
shaking hands
before
the fight begins

Maan ka Anchal

MAAN

Maan ka ANCHAL
Dhup me BADAL


Maan ki BAHEIN
Nind ki RAHEIN


Maan ka DAMAN
Hansta SAWAN


Maan ka GUSSA
Piyar ka HISSA

50% are not Fool

Akhbar Me aaya
50% Sardar bewakoof hote hain.
Is pr Sardaroon ne kafi halla Machaya.
Phir aya.
50% Sardar bewakoof nhi hote hain.
Tb ja kr Mamla set howa…

Don’t wait until it’s too late

Don’t wait until it’s too late
to tell someone how much you love,

how much you care.

Because when they’re gone,

no matter how loud you shout and cry,

they won’t hear you anymore

Rub DilaaN Wich Wasda

Chal Way Bullehya Chal O’thay Chaliyay
Jithay Saaray Annay
Na Koi Saadee Zaat PichHanay
Tay Na Koi Saanu Mannay

Masjid Tha Day, Mandir Tha Day
Tha Day Jo Kujh Disda
Par Kissay Da Dil Na DhukaweeN
Rub DilaaN Wich Wasda

Boys and Girls in Exams

Four things boys do in the Examination Hall

1. Counting no. of girls

2. Flirting with lady supreident

3. Reading the brand name of their pen

4. Thinking of study for at least next exams



Four things girls do in the examination hall even they know or not


1. write
2. write
3. write
4. and just write............

Shaak se Bachoo

"Shaak se bachoo. Kiyon k shaak bad treen jhoot hai.

aik doosary ki khamiyon ko mat dekho.
aik doosary ki jasoosi mat karo
aik doosary se nafrat mat karo.
aik doosary se taluq khatam mat karo

aur

Ay Allah kay bandoo, apas mein bhai bhai ban k raho"

Actual Winner

Mon: Jo meri baat maney ga aur meray aagay bilkul nahi boley ga. Main usey gift dongi

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.

Kids reply:

Lo ji, is tarah to sare gift.................. Abbu le jaenge :)

Story of A Chartered Accountant

Main matric me tha
Wo matric me thi

Main inter me tha
wo inter me thi

Me CA me agaya
wo BA me thi

Me CA me tha
wo MA me thi

Me CA me tha
wo PHD me thi

Me CA me tha
wo Doctor ban gai


aaj uski shadi hai or
mera CA ka paper hai.

Worth of Hand

A ball in my hand is worth some ruppees but
A ball in Wasim Akram's hand is worth a million


A gun in my hands may be useless but
A gun in hitler's hand won wars

A rod in my hands may keep away an angry dog.
A rod in Moosa's (A.S.) hands parted the mighty river.

So put your concerns, worries, fears, hopes, dreams, family in Allah's hand
because

It all depends upon whose hands it's in!!!!!!

1st Gift

Aik admi naya naya doctor bana.

Pehla operation karney ka baad bola

"Ya Allah mera pehla gift qabool kar."

What is Faster

What's faster dan a coin rolling down a steep slope?
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.
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.
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.
.
.
.
.
A shiekh running 2 catch it...

Bill "GATES"

Sardar to Bill Gates: "Tusi vi kamle ho

Gates: Why?

Sardar: Tusi naam Gates rakheya hae, per business WINDOWS daa karde ho.

Chanday ki apeal

Masjid k liye chanday ki apeal ho rahi thi.

1 admi bola main bulb lgva donga.

2nd bola me fan lgva donga.

3rd (Josh me aa kar) main cable lgva donga.

Marney k baad bhi

Marney k bad bhi meri ungliyan hilti rain FARAZ.


Adat jo parh gaei thi daily 500 sms karney ki.

Ameen

Main ne kaha k tum bin mar jaon ga PARVEEN

Wo muskrai, mujhe dekha or kaha AMEEN

Jo Baat Suno

Jo baat suno likh lo.

Jo likho use yaad kar lo.

Jo yaad kar lo use bayan karo.

aur

Jo bayan karo us par amal karo.

Radio & News Paper

Teacher:

Radio aur Newspaper mein kia faraq hai



Student:

Newspaper mein tandoor ki rottian daal saktay hain magar radio main nahin

Prayer is The Most Powerful

Prayer ss
the Most Powerful Weapon Against DownFall,

The Most Effective medicine Against Sickness,
And

the Most valuable Gift to someone We care.

Ek Dost Mere Liye

Banany wale ne ek DOST mere lia banaya hy
Jise aap k roop mein mainey paaya hay,

Jo mere dil main aise samaya hy,
Jaise purani haweli main “BHOOT” ka saaya hay

Naam Rakh Liya Qaazi (Baba Bhullay Shah)

Parh Parh Kitaaban Ilam Diyan Tu Naam Rakh Liya Qaazi,

Hath Vich Phar K Talwaar Tu Naam Rakh Liya Ghaazi,

Makkay,Madeenay Ghoom Aaya Tay Tu Naam Rakh Liya Haaji,

"BhULLAY SHAH" Haasil Ki Kita? Jay Tu RAB Na Rakhaya RAAZI.

Tera Pakistan Hai

“Na mera Pakistan hai na tera pakistan hai,
Ye us ka pakistan hai jo sadr_e_pakistan hai,

Jis ki bari dukaan hai sab chori ka saman hai,
Jo bara be’eman hai wo Sadr-e-pakistan hai,

Jitne oske Wazeer hain wo Saary Be Zameer hain,
Jo Sab se Bara shaitan hai Wo Sadr-e-pakistan hai.

Meharbani Hogi

Tumhari Ik Nigah Se Qatal Hote Hain Log FARAZ

Ik Baar Zardari Ko Bhi Dekh Lo Meharbani Hogi..!!

Sardar ki English

how a Sardar professor speaks English:

1. don’t dare to talk in front of my back!
2. both of you three get out of the class!
3. why are you so late..say yes or no?
4. take 5 cm wire of any length!
5. i have two daughters. both of them are girls!!
6. all of you stand in a straight circle!
7. quiet..the principal just passed away.
8. everybody stand lengthwise. .
9. why are you looking at the monkey outside the window when i am here?

Kanjoos

Ek darwaish kehta tha
k
aik zamana aaega
k
ek dost dosrey ko dil se sms karega,
or
or
or
or
or

“Dosra”
kanjous bus parrh ker muskurae ga ;-
jaisY aap

Teri Yaad Aye

RAAT HUI JAB SHAAM K BAAD,
TERI YAAD AYI HAR BAAT KE BAAD,

HUM NE KHAMOSH REH KAR BHI DEKHA,
TERI AWAZ AYI HAR SANS K BAAD.

Jan

Jan
Jan
Jan
Jan
Jan
Jan
Jan
Jan
Jan Chor Do Meri
Mere sMs k Deewano
Hr Wqt Mobile Hath Me Liye
Mere sMs Ka Wait Krte Rehte Ho..!!

The Winners of Life

The Winners Of Life’s Game Aren’t Those
Who Have Never Tasted Failure

But

Those Who Have Tasted Failure Again And Again

but

Never Give Up …

First Step of Success

Everybody Tells,

Mistake Is D 1st Step Of Success
But It Is Not True.

“The Correction Of Mistake”
is The First Step Of Success

Ups and Downs of Life

Ups and downs are the part of Life!!!!

In the life.....When u r "UP", ur friends know who r u.

But

when u r "Down", u know, who is ur friend.

Rab Razi

Kainat may jitni jaldi RAB raazi hota hai itni jaldi koe razi nahi hota

Shaadi Ki Saalgirah

Biwi: Q na hum apni shadi ki salgirah par dawat ke liye bakra katvayen

Sohar: Galti to ma ne ki hai. Saza us gharib ko kyun deti ho?

Meaning of Dream

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap.

After she woke up, she told her husband,
“I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day.
What do you think it means?”


“You’ll know tonight”, he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it - only to find a book entitled

“The meaning of dreams”.

Kuch Pal De Do Mujeh

Apni Zindagi Se Kuch Pal De Do Mujhe,
Aj Na Sahi Apna Kal De Do Mujhe,

Khushi Do Ya Na Do Marzi Tumhari,
Apni Kisi Achi c Girl Friend Ka Number De Do Mujhe…!!!

Zalim Police

Zalim Police ki darindagi ka aik or jeeta jaagta suboot

korangi may queta hotel k3 masoom pathanon se”naswaar”cheen li
teeno pathanon ne tarap tarap kjan de di

Sheikh Ki Roti

1 shEikh 4th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne apni ghar ki khirki may
apni bivi ko roti pakatay hue dekha
tu bolta hua gaya k


O MERI ROTI NA PAKAEENn.!

Masjid Ka Chanda

Ek Moolvi Film Actor k pass Masjid ka Chanda mangne gya…

Actor:
Ap to kehtay hain k Hamara Paisa haraam hai

Moolvi:
Is Paisay say Hum “Bathroom banain gay”

Jannat se Aagay

An Sms To Mulla Umer
From A Suicide Bomber…

Sir Jee,
Barood Thora Kum Daala Karain
Mein To Jannat Se Bi Aagay Nikal Gya Hun

Change Happens

Change Does Not Happen
When Circumstances IMPROVE,

Change HAPPENS When
YOU DECIDE to Improve
Your Circumstances.!.


Have a Nice Day!!!!

Aap Ka Liye Dua

May Allah
increase ur EMAN,
Grant u AHSAN,
Restore on u SABAR,
Delight u in ZIKER,
Bless u with TAQWA,
Accept ur TOBA
AND
honour u with JANNAT(HEAVEN)

Ameen!!!!

Shaitaan ka Challenge

"Jab shaitaan mardud ho gaya to us ne kaha k ae rab! teri izat ki kasam.
Mein tere bandon ko hamesha behkata rahun ga. jab tak unki rohen un ke jismon me rahen ge.

Allah Rabul Izaat ne Irshad farmaya,
Muje kasam ha apni izat o jala ki, jab tak wo muj se astagfaar karte rahen ge.
Mein ukno bakhshta rahun ga."

Rs. 1500 Ka Mobile

Rs. 1500 ka new mobile for sale hai.

Jis main

USB

Infra Red

Bluetooth

5 Mega Pixel Camera

Touch Screen

MP3/MP4/AVI/MPEG

FM

8 GB memory

Internet

ka ilawa sab kuch hay.

Love guarantee

Pheli baar love kahan invent hua tha?
.
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Made in China


Ise liya tu koi gurantee waranty nahi hoti

Sweet Lines

• Allah dey kar bhi azmata hai, ley kar bhi azmata hai
  
• Gharib admi roti k leye dorta hai, ameer roti hazam karnay k leye.
  
• Gunah mai lazzat zarur hay, magar sakun nahi
  
• Baat alfaaz ki nahi lehje ki hoti hay
  
• Kisi k bare mein bura na soocho. Ho sakta hay k wo Allah ki barga main tumse behtar ho.

Greate offer for you

Hi, How are you?
Are you free tomorrow?

Can u come to me. becoz tomorrow we are opening a new








"Mental hospital"

Aap ka ilaj free ho go.

Quran Kay Huquq

Quran Pak kay hamare uper 5 Huquq hain.

1. Is per Emaan lana
2. Ise Parhna
3. Ise Samajna
4. is par Amal karna
5. Is ki Dawat aam karna

Don't Make a Noise

In the corridor of a government office, there was a sign.

"Don't make a noise"

someone wrote with pencil:

"Othewise we may wake up".

Pathan and English Movie

Pathan:
kal raat 3 ghante ek English film dekhi.
Us me na koi banda tha, na koi awaz thi

Friend: Film ka naam kia tha

Pathan: "Please insert the Disk"

Kitna Sakoon Hay

2 admi qbrastan sy guzar rahay thay.

1st bola: sb kitnay skoon sy so rhy haiin.

2nd bola: Kion na ho, yeh jaga jaan de kar hasil hoti hay.

Loot ayengay

Urnay do in parindon ka azzad fiza mei Faraz.

Tery apny hongy to loot ayengay kisi rooz.

Go to Hell

Biwi: Shohar se: aaj ap office se jaldi kese aa gae?

Shohar: Mere boss ko gusa aa gaya tha. us ne kaha jahanam me chale jaoo. Mein ghar aa gaya.

Gadha aur Insaan

Student school mein gadha leke gaya

Teacher: Ye gadha kion laye ho?

Student: sir, ap hi to kehtay hen k mene bare bare gadho ko insaan banay he.

Educated Zamana

Mast hawaein hein!!
Mosam bhi sohana hai!
Kaali ghatain hein!
Dil bhi ashqana hai!
Bandar bhi Sms parh rahey hein!
Kya Educated zamana hai

All Sardar Jokes

2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile,
1st Sardar: chal police ko de k aate hain.
2 sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?
1st sardar: jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha
_________________________________________________________________

Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?
Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hun
Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun
_________________________________________________________________

A sardar prays daily for 2 hours, "He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."
After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,
"Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le"
_________________________________________________________________

Sardar: Yaar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k liye.
Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?
Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.
_________________________________________________________________

1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya .
1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!

Sardar: Mere uper se hawai jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez hai?

Sardar in Exam

In bio practical:

Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only?
Sardar: I don't know.

Examiner: You are failed, what's your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name

Dost ka Saath

Aik din zindagi ne mujh se sawal kia

Tum apne dost ka saath kab tak chahte ho?


Maine Aik Ansoo samandar mein gira dia aur kaha

Jab Tak Tum isko Dhoond Na Lo.

Pathan and Girlfriend

Pathan girl friend ko ghar le gaya,
Sab darwaze khirkiyan band kardin,
Parde gira diye light off kar k us k pass aya aur kaha :

dekho humara watch main light jalta hai.

Bathroom Main Sher

Sardar: yar kal main bathroom gaya to wahan sher tha,

2nd sardar: hain phir tum ne kya kiya?

1st: kuch nahi main ne sher se kaha aap kar lo meri to nikal gai hai.

Sugar Check

Ek sardar roz apne kitchen main jata, sugar box kholta aur band kar deta,
Why?

Because Dr. Ne jo kaha tha k apni sugar roz check karna.

Brain Ka Operation

Doctor patient k peche bhag raha tha.

Ek admi ne pocha kya hua?

Doctor: 4 baar aisa he hua hai sala brain ka opreation karwane aata hai
aur baal katwa k chala jata hai.

The Worst Thief

“The worst thief among people is the one who steals from his prayer,
by not doing rukoo’ and sujood properly.”

Qatil Kisay Kehtay hain

Teacher Pathan Sy:Qatil Kisay Kehtay Hain?
Pathan:Pata Nahi..?
Teacher:Agar Tum Apni Biwi Ka Qatal Kar DoTo Tum Kya Kehlao Gay…?
Pathan:“ZARDARI”

Zardar Ka Elaan

Dear Friend::

Asif Zardari Ne Elaan Kia Hai K
“MEIN Apni Beti KI SHADI
USSE KARUN GA JO MUJHSE BHI BARA
KAMEENA HOGA”.
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Teri To Lottery Nikal Pari Yaar…

When is Your Birthday

Interviewer :When Is Your Birthday
Sardar :13th Oct
Interviewer :Which Year ?
Sardar :Oye Ullu Ke PatteEvery Year

Yaad Tumhari Aati Hai

Mosam Hy Barish Ka Or Yaad Tumhari Aati Hy
Barish Ke Har Qatre Se Awaz Tumhari Aati Hy

Badal Jab Garajti Hy, Dil Ki Dhrkn Bharhti Hy
Dil Ki Hr 1 Dhrkn Se Awaz Tmhari Aati Hy

Due to Rain

Teacher Told All Students to Write an Essay On
"A Cricket Match"

All Were Busy Writing Except 1 Sardarji

He Wrote “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH”

Nafs ki qeemat

Tumharay Nafs ki qeemat "Jannat" hai,

Issay Jannat se kum qeemat pe na baichna

SoJa mere yaar

800 kamron ka mehal ho aur noton se saja darbar
Income ho arbon me aur 200 marcedese car

Sab kuch sapne me hi mil sakta hi
is liye jagna he bekaar, soja mere yaar

Kuttay ki strike

Tarzan janvron ko unki zaat bata raha tha

Gadha: Chudhary
Sher: Sardar
Kukar: Malik
Hathi: Butt

Kutta: Zardari

Kutta tap k bola
"Na bhi na, main kutta hi theek hoon"

What women want

The world's thinnest book is titled by

"What women want"

It has only one word written in it

"Everything"

Surprising about Mankind

What is most surprising about mankind???

They lose their health to make wealth and
then lose their wealth to restore their health

By thinking about future, they forget present
Such that, they live neither for present nor for future

They live as they will never die and
then die as they had never lived

New of Zardari

Meinu dey protocol vay loko
mein ho geya jay anmol vay loko

Bibi toun majboor saan pehle
10% mashoor saan pehle

Hun khull k annhi pavaan ga
Mein 100% he khavan ga

Mein ous qom da leader vay loko
jehrri vik jaandi 1 naan tay loko

Bachao apni jaan ve loko
mein hun sadar-e-Pakistan ve loko

Mitti Kay Khaloonay

Muhabbat Kar sakte ho to Rab se karo Faraz

Mitti kay khilono se kabhi wafa nahi milti.

Extra care of ...

Always take extra care of 3 things in life

1. Trust
2. Promise
3. Relation

Because they don't make noise when they break

Tilawat-e-Quran

Tilawat-e-Quran is a

lighting system of face
Cooling system of head
Energy system of Heart
Sparking system of Eye
Relaxing system of Mind

So, do tilawat daily

Difference b/w Girlfriend and Wife

Customer:

I need a ladies suit.


Shopkeeper:

"Begum ka liye chahiye ya koi achaa sa dikhaoon"

Extreme limit of Sardarism???

What is the extreme limit of Sardarism??????


Two sardars, sitting in the auto rikshaw and fighting for


"Window seat"

Mujhay Shaak Hay

Aik sardar jab be bathroom jata to
Darwaza khool deta

Kisi wajah poochi to sardar bola

"Mujhe shak hai k darwazay k neeche se mujeh koi dekhta hay"

Why We Close our Eyes

Why do we close our eyes when we

Pray
Cry
Dream or
Miss someone??

Because the most beautiful things are unseen and can only be sighted through the eyes of heart!!!

A Painful Phrase

A painful phrase written by a boy who lost his parents in sunami

"Sea , I will not forgive you even if your waves touch my feet million Time"

Yeh Sheesha hai

Zardari toys walay sey"

Yeh mooch wala kutta kitnay ka hay"


Toy wala" Janab yeh to sheesha hai"

Main Janati Hun

Patahn duzakh se nikla aur chupkay say janat me ghusa.

Farishtay nay pakar liya to pathan bola:

"Main janati hun, dozakh main gul khan ko naswar dainay gaya tha".

Haathi Parinda Hay

Teachr: Konsa Parinda Sub Se Tez Urta Hai?
Student: Haathi!

Teachr: Nalaiq! Tera Baap Kia Krta Hai?
Student: Wo DSP Hain.

Teachr: Mera Khayal Hai Haathi Hi Sab Se Tez Urta Hai

Meri Dua Aap Ka Liye

May Allah increase ur EMAN,
Grant u AHSAN,
Restore on u SABAR,
Delight u in ZIKER,
Bless u with TAQWA,
Accept ur TOBA

AND

honour u with JANNAT(HEAVEN)

Amin

Sulook usne mujhse .....

Sulook usne mujhse cigarette ka sa kya.
Pehle jalaya phir piya, paaon rakha bujha diya.

Yani talab thi usko meri kuch waqt k liye.
Pehle lagaya hont se aur phir dhuwen main urra diya.

Apni saansen khench k meri khushbu khud main basa li.
Meri jalti hui rakh ko ungliyon se gira diya.

Chaar Cheezain

Jism ki tandrusti “NAMAZ” main hai,

Dil ki taqat TILAWAT-E-QURAN main hai,

Dimagh ki quwwat ZIKER-E-ELAHI main hai,

Rooh ki rahat DUROOD SHAREEF main hai,

Maaf Karo

“LOGON ko IS tarha MAAF karo
jaisey Tum ALLAH se UMEED rakhty ho
k
wo TUMHEY MAA\’AF kare Ga”.

Greatest Thing

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn

Is to love and be loved in return. “

Strange I Love You

bottle main Pepsi say zyaada….

used Socks main smell say bhi zyaadaa….

Adnan Sami main charbi say zyaada…

Mithai main sweet say zyaada…

Pakistan main crruption say zzyaada…


I LOVE U?

Murgi........

Mom: beti kyu ro rahi ho?

beti: Teacher ne mara

Mom: Q?

Beti:

Maine usko murgi kaha kyuki
usne mujhe EXAM mein andadiya tha..

Exam ki tiyari

Exams k ek din pehle mujhe hosh aya

socha meine bohot or cheating karne ka plan banaya

bathroom me kardi meine cheating ki setting

or ab bus karni thi mujhe bathroom jane ki acting

Exam paper dekh k meri ankhon k aage andhera chaya

kia bataon paper tha physics or mei chemistry le aya

Barish ki Khushi

Aaj to bohot khush hoongay aap?.......


Kiyon k, barish jo ho rahi hai.....


aur barish main to.......



sab hi maindak khush hotay hain

Happy Rainy Day

The Taste Of Oranges
The Walk In Frost


The Golden Sunlight
The Beauty Of Autumn Colors

The Magic Of Wet Red LEaves
“Happy first rain of winter”

Load Shedding

Mery Aziz Ham Watno

Ham Ne Load Shading Ka Khatama Kr Dia Hy
Ta K Factrian Chal Paren Or Log Kam Pe Lag Jain

Warna Log Wakilon K Long March May Shamil Ho Jain Gey
Jasy He Long March Nakam Ho Ga Apko

Phr Se Load Shading KeKhush Khabri Sunai Jaige.

Apka Khadim
Asif Ali Zardar
Mr. 100% . . .

Obama ka Rishtaydar

Asif Zardari: America K Sadar Obama
K Rishtedar Hain
Qarebi Zraye Sy Pata Chala He K
Asif Zardari: America K Sadar Obama
Ki Phupho
K
Kuttay
Ka Puttar Hay…

Zardari ko Darr Lagta Hay

ZARDARI say ek press reporter ne pocha:
“Zardari sahib, ap ko kis waqat darr lagta hy” ??
Zardari: jab log na’ara lagtay hen
k,…….
“ZINDA HA BB”
“BB Zinda Ha”

Charoon Suboon

Charon suboon ki zanjeer,
Benazir Benazir.

Charon suboon se gadari,
Asif Zardari Asif Zardari.

Bandriya ki Shaadi

Ek din bandaria boli: Maa meri shaadi kar do.
Maa ne kaha: Beti tera dulha abhi sms parh raha hai.



Ager muskraya to rishta pakka samjho.




Mubarak ho!
Larke ne haan kar di!

Future of Frog

Frog to Njoomi:Please tell my future!
Njoomi:A young smart girl, will touch your body.

Frog: WOW! when & where?
.
.
.
.
Njoomi: Next semester, in Biology lab

Merriot Hotel

After the blast at the Hotel Marriot (Islamabad),

the zardari Govt is thinking of a new name for the hotel.

‘Shaheed Marriot bhutto Hotel’

I am Sorry

How can I begin to say I`m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I hope that you can forgive me.I’m sorry.

Missing F

LIFE is a LIE when F is missing.
'F' is nothing but your friendship.

Hope I will never miss this 'F'
ever in my LIFE…

Sweet Birthday

This msg has

No Fat
No cholesterol n
No Addictive

this is all natural
and with
a lot of sugar.

But it can never be
as sweet as the one reading it.
Happy Birthday!!!!

Birthday

Some like sunday,
Some Like Monday

But I like one day
that is ur birthday

Dispute or Arguments

Never enter into dispute or argument with another.

I never yet saw an instance of one of two disputants convincing the other by argument.

I have seen many getting warm, becoming rude and shooting one another.

Kaaba is covered by Kiswa

KAABA" The House of ALLAH in Makkah.

The Kaa'ba is covered by a black cloth known as 'Kiswa',
which is produced & changed every year.

Special factory designed for the making of Kiswa in Makkah.
It costs approx. SR 17million.

The cloth is made of 670kgs of silver dyed black,
about 120kgs of pure gold & 50kgs of silver used in writing the Qur'anic verses over the cloth.

The total area of the cloth is 658sqr meter

Naik Ghumaan

Naik ghuman rakhna ebadat-e-hasna main se hai.

Andaza Nahi Hoota

Muhabat ko samajh na hay tu kudh muhabat kar "Faraz"

Kinary se kabi andaz-e-Toofan nahin hoota.

Barozgar Sister

Salam Bhai

Aap se ik arz hay kay, agar koi Govt. yar private ya sales ki koi job ho to mujeh zaroor batana

aap ki barozgar sister

Sheri Rehman
ex-minister (zardari govt.)

Anookha Badla

Sardar: "Agar operation kay duran muje kuch ho gaya tu tum isi doctor sey shaadi ka lina"

Bivi:"Yeh aap kia keh rahain hay"

Sardar "Tu kia doctor ko maaf kar doon"

Aap ka saath

kisi ko apni khubio ka ahsas nahi hota,
app jaise dosto ka milna itfaq nahi hota,

kucha tu acha kiya hoga humne,
varna aap jase dost ka saath nahi hota

Let your boss speak 1st

Once Boss, officer and clerk going for a meeting.

They saw a Jin.

Jin said " I will fulfill 1 wish for each of you"

Clerk said "Send me to America with lot of dollars".

Jin look at him and he disappear

Officer said "Send me to Frace with lot of Euros".

Jin look at him and he disappear

Then Jis asked boss and boss said "I want these two idiots back at office at lunch"


Moral: "Always let the boss to speak 1st"

Sorry kay Spelling

Bus main larki ka paon aik buddhay ke paon kay neechay aa gaya.

Buddha" Sorry"

Girl "Idiot"

Thori dair baad ussi larki ka paon aik handsome larkay ka neechay aa gaya

Larka " Sorry"

Girl " Its okay"

Buddha bola " Na te meri sorry de spelling ghalat c?"

Keep me in your heart

Dont keep me in ur eyes,
I may fall as tears,

keep me in ur heart,
so tat ur every “Heart Beat”
remainds u tat

there is some 1 4 u

Meaning of Wife

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.

It means...

Without Information Fighting Everytime!

WIFE satys No, it means -


With Idiot for Ever.

Pakistani Police

Pakistani POLICE ka koi jawab nahi,

kal 1 admi talab me naha raha tha.

ek POLICE wala dekh kar bola :-

chal oye bahar aa k kapde pahen, teri talashi leni hai...

Mobile Technician

Mobile repair krne walay ko loose motion ho jaye to wo kaisey explain karega?

Doctr sahab subah se missed calls aa rahi hain
outgoing main taklif ho rhi ha.
Subah se naye naye ringtone baj rahe hain.
or pait main balance nahin bach raha,
jitna b recharge kro utna kharach ho rha hai

Good Thoughts

If we both exchange on dollar, we both have one dollar each.

But if we exchange one good thougt, we both have two good thoughts.

Resignation Letter

World's smallest resignation letter"


"Dear Sir,

I love your wife"

Faqeer aur Shiek

aik faqeer sada laga raha tha::

Baba Chawal b kha leta hay
Baba ice cream b kha leta hay
Baba burger b kha leta hay
Baba sb kuch kha leta hay

Aik shiek nay jawab dia

"Baba chittar b kha leta hay"

The fire of Jahanam

The fire of jahanam will not touch the person who recites.

"Allah-huma aajir-ni minan-naar"

Crore Pati

Yar main aik larki ko chata tha, lakin us nay mare sath shaadi nahin ki

2nd: Tumne usy bataya nahi kay tumhara baap crore pati hay


1st: Btaya tha, isi liya tu us nay meray baap kay sath shaadi kar li.

Good Morning

Sending 24 Smiles,
1 for each EaCh HoUr oF a dAy
2 MaKe SuRe u R aLwAyZ sMilinng...

Good Morning and hAv a gReAt dAy.... »

Khan Sb aur Pilot

A pathan was snatching headphone from the pilotpilot

Pilot : what are you dong idiot ?

Pathan: Ticket ka paisa hum ney dia, songs tum sun rahay ho?

Pepsi pee gai

hoota peenay se mohabbat barhti hai .............................faraz…

yeh keh keh k woh ullo ki patthi meri saari PEPSI pee gai


_______________________________________________


Tumhari yaad tu muje aisey ati hay faraz

jese tun ne mere paise dene hon..............

Mitt Jatey Hain Anaa Mein

Ajab tarha k log bastey hain teray shehar mein “FARAZ”

Mitt jatey hain ANAA mein magar MOHABBAT nahin kartey..

_____________________________________________________

Wo Parinda Jisy Apni Parwaaz Sy Fursat Na Thi FARAZ

Aaj Tanha Howa To Meri Hi Deewar Pay Aa Baitha

_____________________________________________________

Hun need k shoqeen ziada nahin lakin Faraz

Kuch Khawab na dekhan to guzara hanin hota.


______________________________________________________

Wo pila Jaam nzaroon se apni faraz

Ab ketay hain Nashey ki adat achi nahi hoti.

Faraz Collection

yahee kahaa tha ka barsoun ka piyasa houn faraz

us nay meray moun mian pipe laga ker rooter chalaa dia

Vitaman

Khan Sb.: I'd like some VITAMIN for my wife.

Shop Keeper: Sir, vitamin.A, B or C?

Khan Sb.: Any one, wo kon sa pari likhi hay.

Smile Please

A sardar photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function,

suddenly all relatives beat him.

why?

He said "SMILE PLEASE

Love SMS

The sun had rised from the east &

birds r singing happily &

butterflies R around the flowers.

It is time to wake up & give a big yawning & say gd morning to u..

How to Kill a Lion

How to kill a LION::

by Ravi Shastri method:

ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run

Lion tired and surrenders ,,......

Pakistani Captain

Wat s d biggest pressure building up for pakistani captain

when pak need 1 run 2 win in 5 ovrs, 10 wkts in hand..

"Ya Allah how 2 spk english in presentation ceremony!"

Touch my heart

Touch my heart & u’ll feel,

Listen to my heart & u’ll hear,

Look into my heart & u’ll see,

That

u’ll always be a special part of me

420

30+29+28+27+26+25+24+23+22+21+20+19+18+17+16+15+14+13+12+11+10

In sabh ko total karke dekho

apka naam likha ayega.
even on calculator..................

lt's true.plz try

Purpose & Need

In the chase between Cat&Mouse,

the mouse mostly wins.

Coz the cat is running for its food &
mouse for its life.


Remember PURPOSE is more
imp than needs.best luck..

A Nurse

Defination of a NURSE->

A young and beautiful girl

who fingers u in all places

n holds ur hand and
then expects ur pulse to be normal

Tactful Wife

A tactful wife
is one

who makes sure she spends so much

that her husband cant afford

another woman.

Dont Go Outside

Shhhh.
Dont go outside.
Even dont talk loudly for the next one hour,

please I am again warning you
please and dont be so loud ..

The dog catching van is on duty!!!

Exams are like.....

Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;
1. Too Many Questions.
2. Difficult to Understand.
3. More Explanation is Needed.
4. Result is always FAIL!….

Speaking italian...

Speaking Italian is difficult,

but

I eat and drink italian
without difficulties

Monoply & Competition

A Business Man

ExpLaining The Reason For Having
Two Wives....!@!--!@!

MonoPoLy... Is ALways Damaging... &
Competition... ImProves Service...

Fastest Camera

The Japanese have produced a camera

that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture

of a woman with her
mouth shut!

Crazy World

Despite the Old saying

“Don’t Take Your Troubless &
Worries To Your Bed”


Most of the People still sleep with their

wives!!!


WHAT A CRAZY WORLD, Good Night.

Prayer

Prayer of an ideal son:

Dear God,
thx 4 all d blesings u hv bestowed upon me.

I wont ask anythin 4 myslf,

plz jst giv my parents a really hot daughter-in-law

Tip for Success

Tip for a successful life:

Don’t take any decision
when you are
angry


Don’t make any promise
when you are
happy

Answer Please

Reply this in YES or NO….

Kia aapko pagal pan
k dauray perna band hogaye hain?

Attitude

In rain all birds find shelter

but eagle is the one
that avoids the rain by flying above the clouds.


Problem is common to all but
"ATTITUDE"
makes the difference.

Quaid-e-Qillat

Considering his achievements
of creating shortage of

Wheat,
Gas,
Power,
Sugar,
Water,

ZARDAI has been given the title of “Quaid-e-Qillat”.

Obama ka Kutta

Obama ka “Kutta” obama se rooth gaya,

Ja k ganday nalay main doob gaya


Doobtay hoye bola ab aur zulm nahi sahaingay,

ya mujh se doosti rakho ya ZARDARI say

Mar Jata Agar.....

Wife:
"Suniye jab apne pehli bar mera ghoonghat uthaya
tha to kesa mehsoos hoa tha?


Husband:

"Khuda ki kasam main mar jata agar
Ayat-ul-Kursi yad na hoti..!!"

Hypnotize = Shaadi

Husband:
"Hypnotize karna kisay kehtay hain???"

Wife:
"kisi ko apnay control main kar k
us say apni marzi k kaam karwanay ko kehtay hain,

Husband:

"Chal jhooti usay tou

SHAADI kehtay hain"

Father Name

Santa,banta dono bhai same class me they

Teacher:
"Tum dono ne father name alag kyu likha?"

Brothers:
"Kahin aap yeh na kahin kay hum nay nakal mari hay"

April Fool

In hasino se

Rasme Wafa
or

Dil Lagana sarasar bhool hai…

Jis din ye ikrar karen
mohabbat ka,

Samajh lena us din

APRIL FOOL hai…!

Yaaad

Mujhe 2 cheezain ki buhut yad ati ha

Ek apki … Jo buhut ati hai

Doosri LIGHT… Jo buhut jaati hai

New Car

When a man opens the door of his car for his girlfriend

you can be sure of one thing:



Either the car is new

or

the girlfriend

Akele He Theek

Life Was Lonely,
No One Was There,
I Had No Good Friend,
And When U Came Into My Life,
I Realised That…
:
:
:
“Akele He Theek Tha Yaar”..

Railway Station

Ek aurat train se utri aur khan sahib se poocha ye konsa station hai?

Khan sb. ne socha… socha… socha… socha… socha phir bola


“Bibi ye Railway Station hai”

Kohta

Menu Daso Asi ki kamaya?

Musharaf giya zardari aya?

Bus khotay nal khota wataya.

Eid ka din

Momin ka her woh din

eid ka din ha

jist din wo koi

gunah na kare.

Allah kay Ehsaanat

Allah ka gunaahgar logon pa ehsaanat

1. Nahi rokta rizq ko
2. Nahi cheenta tandrusti ko
3. Nahi zahir karta gunaah ko
4. Nahi azab deeta furan.

Shiekh kay ghar Mehmaan

Aik martaba shiekh sb. kay ghar mehmaan aye.

Shiekh ki bivi boli "Shiekh sb. mehmanoo ka lye kuch la ayen"

Shiekh sb. gaye or "Rikshaw" lay aye.

Faqeer aur Sheikh

Aik faqeer shiekh sb. ka ghar aya aur bola "Main Allah ka mehman hoon"

shiekh nay faqeer ko pakra or masjid lay gaya aur kaha "Allah ka ghar yeh hay"

Zardari Shaitan

Shaitan apne chailoon se:
Sam, tumhari duty aaj america main hay.
Julee, tum aaj UK jaoo gee
Peeter, tum India jaoo.

Sam asked: Pakistan kon jaye gaa.

Shaitan: Pakistan ki fikar chooro wahan Asif Zardari hay naa.

Billo Rani

Aik chooha sharaab kay drum main gira aur must ho ka nikla.

Soti Billi k mun pe dum maar ka bola:

"Billo rani kaho to abi jaan de doon"

Sabzi Mandi

In 2015

Main with his boy at main gate of Gaddafi Stadium:

"Beta yhan kabi cricket match howa karte thay"

Beta "Papa us waqt sabzi mandi kahan hoti thi"

Baywafai

Justice ko bhal karne ka Irada to nahi tha Fraz

Sheri Rehman ki baywafai nay kamzor kar dia
(Zardari)

Vibration

1 Sardar Mleriya Sy Kamp Rha Tha.

Doctor Aya Aur Pocha: Kia Howa Hai?

Sardar K Bete Ny Jawab Diya:

Bamarii ka tu pata nahi per abba subha say "VIBRATION" per laga howa hay

Bijli

Mother 2 Docotr On Phone:

Mari Beti Ko Current Laga Hai Me Kia Karon??

Doctor: Pehle Ap 2 NAFAL Shukranay Ke Ada Karein

Ke Apki Tarf Bajli Aarahi Hai..

Anokha Kaam

Ustad (Shagird se) :
"kya tm aisa kaam kr saktay ho, jo doosra nhi krsakta?"

Shagird:

" ji haan Sir, main apna likha perh sakta hu "

Why are you Late

Teacher: Tum Late Q Aaye..?

Student: Ammi Abbu Lar Rahe Thay..

Teacher: Wo Lar Rahe Thay To Tum Late Q Aaye..?

Student: Kya Karta Mera 1 Joota Ammi K Pas Tha Or 1 Abbu K Pas Thaa ...

Ittefaq

آُستاد ؛ اِتفاق کو جُملے میں استعمال کرو

۔شاگرد ؛ جِس دِن میرے باپ کی شادی تھی اِتفاق سے اُسی دِن میری ماں کی بھی شادی تھی

Student Life

Funny English Translation

1۔ میں عام آدمی نہیں ہوں۔
I am not a mango man.

2۔ سردا اور گرما فروٹ ہیں۔
Colda and hota is fruit.

3۔ مجھے بھی انگلش آتی ہے۔
English comes to me also.

4۔ دو اور دو برابر چار۔
Give and give equal to four.

5۔ میرا تعلق ہری پور ہزارہ سے ہے۔
I am belong to green pur thousanda.

6۔ سڑک پہ گولیاں چل رہی ہیں۔
tablets are walking on the road.

Ton Ton Ton

Math’s teacher was teaching Mathematical Conversions.

Teacher-If, 1000 Kgs= Ton. Then For 3000 Kgs = How Much?

Sardar Reply- Ton! Ton! Ton!

Daar lag raha hay

ایک سردار جی اپنی پتنی کو موٹر سائیکل پر شاپنگ پر لے جا رہے تھے. سردار جی انتہائی تیز رفتاری سے موٹر سائیکل چلا رہے تھے.

سردارنی نے کہا کہ سردار جی موٹر سائیکل آہستہ چلائیں مجھے ڈر لگ رہا ہے

.تو سردار جی کہنے لگنے کہ اگر تجھے ڈر لگ رہا ہے تو تو بھی میری طرح آنکھیں بند کر لے

Gulabo and Sardar

Sardar goes to Gulabo's home & knocks da door ...

Gulabo: Kon ...???
Sardar: maiN ...!!!!

Gulabo: maiN kon ...???

Sardar: " ley dass kamlii ... tu gulabo hor kon ...!!!! "

Khopari Istemal karo

Ek pathan ka ser phat gaya
pathan sey Dr. ne pocha:-khan sahab kya hua ??

Pathan:Hum pather sey keel thok raha thah,
hum ko ek admi bola khan

KHOPRI istemal karo

Anokha Khiyal

Wife : Tum Toh Chahte Ho K Main Mar Jaon
Aur Meri Tamam Cheezai'n Tumhari Ho Jaye'n.

Hasband : Lehhh, Eddddi Tu Benazer'

Little Thieve

A boy was caught stealing a watch, taken to a police station and put in a lock-up .

A criminal there showed some sympathy and said,

"You are wasting time on small items . Why don`t you rob a bank ?"

The boy replied, "By the time I leave school, all banks are closed"

Kitaab / Calendar

Wife: Main Tumhari Zindagi ki Kitaab hoon.
Husband: Yehi To Afsos Hai, Agar Calender hoti to har Sal Change tu ker leta

Over Time

Macher ne Ek admi ko din mein kata,
admi ne kaha:tum tou raat mein kattey hona??
Macher bola: ghar ke halat kharab hain over time kar raha hun....

Sharminda

ایک ماہر نفسیات لیکچر کے دوران اپنی خوبیاں بڑے زور سے بیان کررہا تھا۔ً میں کسی بھی شخص پر ایک نظر ڈال کر بتاسکتا ہوں کہ وہ میرے بارے میں کیا سوچ رہا ہے۔

ایک شخص نے ٹوکتے ہوئے کہا۔۔۔

۔"ً لیکن یہ جان لینے کے بعد تو آپ کو کافی شرمندگی محسوس ہوتی ہوگی۔۔۔۔۔۔"

Released Today

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. e finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought. "What's the matter, dear?, Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband said, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly.

"Yes I do" she replies.

The husband "Do you remember when your father caught us in the garden?"

"Yes, I remember" said the wife,

The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that too" she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released today!"

Sadar Bana do

Wakeel : Jedge sahab

is mujrem ney apney saley ko mara,
Is ney apni biwi Ko mara,
is ney beshamar chorian ki,
is ney beshamar gareebo ka khun piya

Ab app hi bataein is ko kya saza di jaye?

Jadge : Isey Mulk ka Saddar bana do

Halaf-Nama

Zardari Ka Halaf-Nama
Farzana Raja Meri Jaan Hy
Ye Pakstan Ki Aan Hy
Me Apna Farz Nibhaonga
Mulk Ko Nuqsaan Pohnchaonga
Zardari mera Naam Hy
Gaddari Mera Kaam Hy ...

Zillat hi Zillat

Quaid-e-Azam was Quaid-e-Millat
Fatima Jinnah was Madar-e-Millat
Liaquat Ali Khan was Shaheed-e-Millat
Benazir Bhutto was Dukhtar-e-Millat
Yousuf Raza Gillani is aatay ki qillat
AurAsif Ali Zardari . . . . .Zillat hi Zillat

Bachnaaaaa

bachnaaaaa ay gharebo..... lo main aa gaya....

khoon ka payasa...amn ka dushman.....

apni ada hai bibi se juda!..hey ho!!!

Khabar Dar

Bay adab
Bay mulahiza, Hoshiar

Baighairat-e-Azam,
Badshah-e-Rishwat,
Zaleel-ul-Mulk,
Shehenshah-e-Jowa,
Sardar-e-Dakait
Asif Zardari aa rahe Hain!

Mother

M-O-T-H-E-R
“ M “ is for the million things she gave me
“ O “ means only that she’s growing old,
“ T “ is for the tears she shed to save me,
" H “ is for her heart of purest gold ;
“ E “ is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
“ R “ means right, and right she”ll always be,

Put them all together, they spell“ MOTHER “
A word that means the world to me.

Birthday Card

A sardar gee gifted a card
to his father on his Birthday and write:

Phul to Bahut he par Gulab Jesa Koi Nahi
Papa to Bahut hai Par Aap Jaisa Koi Nahi.

Bhai

Aankho mein "SHARAFAT"
chaal main"NAJAKAT"
dil me"SACHCHAI"
aur chehre me"SAFAI"
Phir kyon na bole har ladki apko "BHAI"

Funny Poetry

1 khwab ,1 pyar ,1 haqiqat ho tum .
Dosti me padnewali har zaroorat ho tum.
Jisko roj itne SMS karne pade, woh musibat ho tum.

Bhege jo SMS

Bhege jo SMS tuje Wo teri yaad me,
Sare ke sare wo abba ne pad liye,
Svera jab huaa to jute pad gye,
Wo fashion wale baal hwa me ud gye.

You and Me

You=lovely
You=perfect
You=beautiful
You=amazing
You=sweet
You=cute
You=genius
You=fantastic
You=fabulous


Me=liar

Petrol Pump

A sardar opened a petrol pump,
but not even one customer went there.

You know why?


Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..

I have lost key

Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?

Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

Male and Female

Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.

Wife: Kitni mari?
Man: 3 male aur 2 female.

Wife: Kaise malum?

Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...

Cartoonist

If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!

If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!

If I was an author,
you would be my story!


But I'm only a cartoonist

Teri Yaad

Dil vich teri yaad sajjna,
Akhhan vish tera khwab sajjna,

Tenu yaad kare bina neend vi nahi aandi,
Saadi akkh tere khwab di mohtaj sajjna.

Exams

Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c

Oh mneu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Na paper mainu aanda c, na paper ohnu aanda c.

Confused

Dil 20 13, 80 20 tere..

Confused???

Read the above numbers in punjabi.

Hadsa (Accident)

Mulazim: Sir meri salary increase kar day. Meri shadi ho gayee hay

Maalik: Factory say bahi honay wali hadsay kay hum responsible nahin.

Sohni Lagdi

Sardar: Wah gee, suit bada sohna paya hai.
Bivi: Thank u G
Sardar: Lipstick badi sohni laayi aa.
Bivi: Thank u G.
Sardar: Shingaar v sohna kitaa aa.
Bivi: Thank u G thank u
Sardar: Par sohni pher v nahi lagdi...

Dr. Chopra

Dr. Chopra, a psychotherapist, hired a sardar to paint his sign board for his clinic"

Sardar came a wrote:

Dr. Chapra
Psycho The Rapist

RACE

Aik jahaz ka engine kharab ho gaya sub nay parashute le kar jump laga dia. Akhir main 1 admi reh gia us ka liye parashute na bacha. Us nay majboran waisay he jump laga dia. Parashut na honey ki waja se woh tezi sey nicha aaya.

Aik sardar nay usay teezi se jatay hoye dekha to apan parashot choor dia aur bola
"Saday naal raisaan"

Dua for Biryani

Biryani khanay ki dua:

Niyat karat hoon mian 4 plate biyani ki vasty 12 boti kay, bama pepsi, raita aur salad, Muon mera daig ki taraf. Bismillah

Peer Bhai

Police nay 2 admi pakray..

Inspector 1st admi say: Tum kis kay mureed ho.
1st admi nay kisi peer sahib ka naam liya, inpector nay kaha is ko band kar do

Inspector 2nd admi say: Tum kis kay mureed ho.
2nd admi: Main apni bivi ka mureed hun.

Inspector: Oye is ka liy pepsi lao ye to apna Peer bhai nikla

BMW

Sardar: Putar jee, tumain Dehli janey main to 4 hour lagay magar wapis 3 din main aya ho woh be BMW main. Akhir kia wajah hay.

Putar: Bapoo, BMW walay pagal hain. Janay ka 5 gear hain aur wapasi ka sirf 1 gear.

Mujhey Yaad Na Karay

"Wo shakas taba-o-barbad ho jaye jo khuttay ko dekhay or muje yaad na karay"
Peer Asif Zardari

Ding Dong Remix

Ek zardari mota taza tha
Jo mazay se mulk ko khata tha
Ding dong ding dong

Zardari nay beth ke soch ye
Bibi ko dengay dhoka ye
Bibi ko marengay goli aur
Khaengay mulk ko
Ding Dong Ding Dong

Keyboard ki ABC

Sardar gee got new job. Very first day he spent 11 hours on computer.

Boss was happy and asked what he did?

Sardar:
"Keyboard per ABC agay peechay thi, woh seedhi ki hay"

Chor ki saza

Pakistani to American:
Tum choron k sath kya Salook karte ho?

American:
Hum unke sath bohat acha salook karte hain. Un k khany peeney ki her cheez ka khayal rakhte hain.

Pakistani:
Ye to kuch bhi nahi, Tum abhi hum se bohat peechay ho.
Hum to choron ko President ya governer bana dete hain.

Jin hoon..........

JIN: kya hukam hai mera aaqa

Aaqa: Mulk ka sara maal mere account main dal dal doo.

JIN: Main jin hoon Zardari nahin ..............

Postal Stamp

Pakistan Post Office ne ASIF ZARDARI ki tasveer walay Stamp jari kardiye hain!

Awam pareshan hain K thook kis taraf lagaya jaye

Petrol Collection

Taalbaan have kidnapped ZARDARI and
demanded $50000000 otherwise they will Burn him with Petrol

Plz Donate!!!. I have donated 5 Liters PETROL!…

Zinda Hay........

Bhutto Marr Gya
Lekin Zinda Hay Bhutto Zinda Hay

B B Marr Gai
Lekin Zinda Hay B B Zinda Hay

Ya Allah PPP Ko Ek Or Nara Ata Farma

Zinda Hy Zardari Zinda Hay

Awaam ki bari....

HoHaHaHaHaHaHa

Main Hon ASIF ZARDARI!

Main Hon ASIF ZARDARI!

Pehle Biwi Maari

Ab Awaam Ki Hai Bari

Azaab Hoon

Once A Molvi Went To ZARDARI And Said,
“Makhlooq Ko Mat Tang Kya KaroWarna ALLAH Ka Azaab Aay Ga…”

ZARDARI Said,
“Bholay Badshao, Tang to Musharaf karta tha, Main Hi To Azaab Hun…”

2 Thappar

Baap:Itne kum marks..?? 2 thappar lagne chahiyen.!!

Beta: Han papa!mein nay to us kameenay mastarka ghar bhi dekh liya hay…!!

Student Life

Movie titles related to students:

exams - socha na tha,
classes - kabhi kabhi,
question papers - na tum jano na hum,
copying - yaarana,
maths - mission impossible,
environmental sciences - pyar mein kabhi kabhi,
1st semester - kuch to hai,
2nd semester - yeh kya ho raha hai,
distinction - kal ho na ho,
1st class - raju bangaya gentleman,
2nd class - dil mange more
fail - phir milenge

Na Roya Jayee....

Na waqt itna k sallybus pura kia jaye
Na tarkeeb koi k exam pass kia jaye

Na jane kon sa dard dia hy is parhai ne
Na roya jaye aur na soya jaye

I'll Study

A student grabbed a coin, Flipped it in the air & said,
“Head, I go to sleep.”
Tail, I watch a movie.
If it stands on the edge I’ll study

Gharee ka haq

Ager tum kisi ghareeb ko
us ka haq nahi dila saktay.

to jo us k pass he wo b cheen lo

Hazrat Allama Asif Zardari

Kutta Mar Gaya

Zardari ki car ka nichay kutay ka bacha aa gya,
Driver say zardari nay bola ka maloom kroo kis ka hai
Driver thori dair main wapas aya aur bohat say har galay main dalay thay
Zardari: aray kia hoa
Driver: Main nay logoon say bola kay main Zardari ka driver hoon aur kutay ka bacha mar gaya hay, logon nay yeh unhoonay sun kar mujhay haar pehna deye

Phullan Wali Kurti

Usay kaha tha k 1 meter kapra zayda le lo Faraz
ab kehti hy "meri phullan wali kurti hoi wakhiyan to tang wa…………"

Tumhare Pass Kia Hay

Indian PM to Zardari:
"meray pas bipasha hay, karina hy, malika hy, ashwariya hai,
tumhare pass kia hy"
Zardari:
"mery pass mera flat hai, sab ko le aao"

Dekha to Aisa Laga..........

Zardari ko dekha to aisa laga::

Jese khana kharab,
Jese total azaab,
Jesey aadee faqeer,
Jesay murda zameer,
Jese Naasoor ho koii sartaa howaa,

Ek zardari ko dekha to aisa laga,
Jese bijli ka taar
Jese khanjar ki dhaar,
Jesey dozakh ki aag,
Jesey zehrila naag,
Jese garmi ki dhoop

Kuttay Ki Dum

Tum Zardari ko kuch mat kehna Faraz
Kuttay ki dum kabi seedhi nahi hoti

Email ya Blackmail

Nawaz: Zardari bhai aap ne mje apna e-mail adress nahi diya
Zardari: Nawaz bhai mera koi e-mail adress nahi, haimra b-mail adress hai Black-Mail

Pyar hai

Mujay us shakhs se bohat pyar hai FARAZ,
jo masjid mei kehta hai "rozay daro roza khol lo."

SIM Change

1 sardaar ko TELENOR mein operator ki job mil gai,
pehli hi din call aei,
“sir ! meri TELENOR ” ki sim block ho gai hai”
sardaar: "te saaleya tu U FONE di sim le la."